What's Up: Last THURSDAY of 2013 // Randomness

Merry Christmas! Merry? I don't know... I was waiting for my cousins to arrive but they didn't come.. Yeah Yeah... I know. They spent their Christmas with their boyfriends and girlfriends and friends... I was so PATHETIC! I was awake until 11:30 pm of December 24, 2013, hoping that they will knock on the door... but they didn't. I was really sad... very sad. Nevertheless, I understood the situation, so what I did was play the guitar all night until my fingers got terribly swollen.

Maybe you'll ask "Where's your parents?", "Don't you have friends?" etc.

My parents? After they cooked a lot of foods they slept at exactly 8:00 pm. My grandmother, as well as her housekeeper, did the same thing. So, I was left all alone to celebrate my MERRY Christmas singing and playing "Keep Holding On" by Avril Lavigne and drinking... of course not alcohol! but some Sour Cherry Drink. And my friends live far away from my hometown. End of Story.

Thursday. I always remember someone every time it's Thursday. So hello to you Mr. Manager... if ever you're reading this... right now.

I went to Travel Agency for Hotel reservation and booking of plane ticket. Right. After a very LONG time... I finally have the chance to take a break from my everyday life cycle of work-study-work-study. 

It was around September when I received a message from my Aunt who wants to have a Trip somewhere. She told me to prepare everything I need. So I did. The hardship I experienced in order for me to have all the requirements... was beyond words. I worked hard (not to earn money, okay?) for almost 4 months to get my VISA on time. There was a time when I almost cried at the agency because they were asking for another papers. However, the staff apologized to me and admitted that it was their mistake. It was terribly FRUSTRATING and I couldn't even get mad so I just cried and cried and cried. Their system's not that organized. I exerted EFFORT and my parents were witnesses. They even helped and encouraged me. Thankfully, they grant me my VISA... a big YEHEY! for that. :)

 (Perfect weather? This is my definition of perfect weather. Cloudy. Not sunny.  A little windy. I don't like SUNNY weather.)

Today, I went somewhere and I ended up at a mall. I just walked and watched all the people who were busy with their shopping. I was not in the mood but I needed to get out because I could feel the stress building up inside my body again. The first thing I noticed was the yellow shopping bags... that's right! Forever21. A lot of people were carrying Forever21 and Uniqlo shopping/paper bags. It was really crazy!!!! Almost all of them were inside the shops while the other boutique were like ghost town... no people at all. I am not a fan of those two brands but I did have clothes from Forever21... and I really REGRET buying from there.

Lastly, before I went out I asked my grandmother's housekeeper if my clothes look good on me and she answered:

 "Erica, the clothes you're wearing don't matter. What matters the most is your CHARACTER as a person. Whatever clothes you wear will look good on you if you have a good mind."

 And... She's right.

That will be all for today. Does this entry makes any sense? I hope so. 

Lessons learned:

1. If you want something, do everything you can to achieve/get it. Giving all your efforts means a lot.
2. It's not about your clothes, the brands but it's all about your CHARACTER as a person.
3. Watching people once in a while can decrease stress.
4. Follow your heart.

Good night everyone! Merry Christmas!!!!!!

Things that made me happy:

1. NYX's sales staff named EMZ. She's very nice. She remembered me even if I was there only once. She said "Hello". What a nice person!
2. My best friend who accompanied me in watching Twilight Saga movie marathon.
3. Walking somewhere.
4. Watching people.
5. Him.

PS. I am sad because I lost my DSLR Lens cap. AND I don't know!!!!! but I am really worried about something. It's making me nervous. I am hoping for the BEST. I will pray HARDER.

Blog // A Decade of FRIENDSHIP

Hello! Today's December 23, 2013 and it's MONDAY! A very special day for me. 10th year anniversary. 10 years of FRIENDSHIP. It means a lot to me and to "her"; my best friend. She is the proof of what I had said before... "Once a person became my friend, I will cherish this person for the rest of my life. He/She will be my friend until the end of time." So see? I am not lying... but, we still have long way to go.

My best friend and I didn't attend the same College, we didn't enrolled to same Major, we've had had separate sets of friends BUT we'd never neglected each other. Simple actions like; sending messages, calling once in a while or visiting each other's houses helped us to stay connected.

Of course, we're not perfect and we sometimes argue BUT the last time we argued was when we were still in High School...

So today, I bought simple snacks for us to share in this special day. It was fun because it felt like we were transported to being a high school student. We used to sleep in each other houses, we cooked food, we love food shopping and even if it was already time to sleep at night we always ended up talking until morning... talking about anything.

Now that we are already an adult, I hope that we could stay the same... Loyal, Funny, Conservative with a touch of innocence and Purity.


Lastly, I became the dishwasher of the day. People always say that I don't know any household chores. They always accuse me of being a "senorita".... but in reality... I AM NOT. Of course I know how to wash dishes, to wash clothes, to clean the house, to do some gardening, to sew clothes, cook basic foods etc... I know how to do them. :)

And as I am typing this, my neighbor is singing an old Korean song... Amazing...  

Good Night Everyone!

Things that made me happy:
- Food Shopping. I like food shopping very much! <3
- Cooking and preparing the table.
- Talking to my Best friend
- Teasing my Best friend's dogs (pit bull); so scary.
- Eating. (Tomorrow is ZUMBA DAY)

What's Up: I Was Mad

(Photo by: Erica/Erix)

(From Deviantart Account)

I am not PERFECT. Although I usually don't fight because I HATE fighting back... this time.... I WILL FIGHT. For I know that I am right. I WILL NOT APOLOGIZE. We are BREAK EVEN. I only gave him the same courtesy he had given me. He didn't respect me as a person... so I didn't respect him. I endured his personality for the last months and he pushed me to my limits. I am usually very patient but yesterday I met my limit. I literally shouted... BUT I didn't regret anything.

My colleague said I looked like an ANGRY CAT when she saw me walking around Ortigas Center that afternoon. She didn't bother to ask me. She calmed me down somehow by softly patting my back and shoulder. I appreciate it. (Thanks Cris)

I was very lucky to saw her yesterday because if not, maybe a car already hit me. I haven't eaten anything since morning except for a very light breakfast... no Lunch and it was almost around 3:00 pm. Before that, I needed to go somewhere while carrying my 3 heavy bags. I had to wait for a Taxi just to arrive at my work place... but my efforts went in vain.

But.. I am not Mad anymore. I had a very good night sleep last night. I watched some funny video clips in Youtube. I feel good and happy now. My happiness is very shallow and I can easily eliminate anger. I don't want to waste my time. I have things to do. Planning for my pleasure trip and school stuffs...

Things that made me happy:
- My Mother.
- My REAL TRUE friends
- Listening to MUSIC
- Mocha (our dog)
- Playing guitar
- Chatting with College girl friends

PS: Does this entry make any sense?

Collection Of Words 13: Alone in Krispy Kreme

Alone In Krispy Kreme

By: Erica/Erix

Date: December 17, 2013

At Krispy Kreme they serve every customer

With a smile on their faces even if the customer's a stupid woman.

I'm just a customer

I'm just a native

I'm just a dreamer

I'm just a stupid woman

At a haven, he's being entertained

With brightly face girls; lights are dim

Even if, these girls are cheaters

... so it seems.

He's just a working man

He might know true love

He relies with his beer in can

And I am just a stupid woman.

In my room, I emailed him...

Only him... seriously...

Even though my messages are meaningless

And full of childishness.

I'm just a pathetic being

But I'm not confuse

I'm just emotional

And I am just a stupid woman

Under the night sky, some succeed with 

Their first love while others

Don't notice that "Love is everywhere"

In this ridiculous place called "Earth"

I just said "I miss you"

I just said "I'm here for you"

I just followed my heart

And I am just a stupid woman.

--------------------

Dear Sir,

This is my version of the poem you gave meas your present.
Let me apologize for not saying Goodbye on your last day.
Something happened. Regardless, I wish for your happiness.
Take care!

Sincerely,

T. Erica

Blog // Life is a Carnival; An Inspirational Video // Video Script

(Photo by: Ina Palisoc)

As I have mentioned before... once in a while, I PLAY AROUND. This picture was taken the week when we shot an inspirational video for a competition. Ms. Ina and I were so overwhelmed by the POSITIVE feed backs coming from people of different nationality... unfortunately, there were also people who gave us insulting and "below the belt" (means: terribly insulting) comments and the worst thing that happened was our video was blocked in youtube.

When we joined the competition, we already knew that there would be people who would "hate" us... Honestly speaking... our video is very artistic and I LIKE IT A LOT. I'm just being honest here. If the people can't accept it as an entry to that competition... it's OKAY because we can still use it for other purposes and one of them is for this blog

I wrote the script the day before the video shoot. While I was writing at that time, I was really emotional... reason why I could easily write what's in my mind.

Video Script:

Who am I? What am I? Is every thing's just a dream? Or maybe, my complex imagination created it...

What is Life? What is Beauty? What is Happiness? What is Love? These are the questions that I usually ask to myself and to other people. For the past 23 years of my life... I think, I'm starting to have an idea about the answers to my questions. And the answers? They are something that can't be put into words but can only be seen by the eyes, can only be heard by the ears, can only be felt by our heart and most of all, the answers are buried deep inside my soul.

I'm an ordinary blogger and yet... I'm not an ordinary person... for I believe that nobody is ordinary. We are all created in different ways, we have our own identity, we have our own personality, we don't look the same physically and these facts are what make us different from one another.

The life of an ordinary blogger. This is something personal that I want to share to everybody... because everyone would be able to relate.

The past:

I was always alone... an overly and unreasonably shy person. I was not very likable and back then, everyone hated me.

My experiences in life; the good things and the bad things served as my inspiration to write, to draw, to paint, to experiment and to show that I can be me whenever I wanted to be.

It all started when I became a victim of constant discrimination. When people pushed me on the edge, pulled me down and hurt me emotionally and physically... I couldn't do anything. I didn't know how to fight... for I don't fight! because I don't believe in violence and saying bad things to other people... and yet, half of me wanted to fight to show that I don't deserve those kind of maltreatment... I was weak, very weak.

While every girl of my age is busy talking about boys, relationship, fashion... I was busy and happy reading books. A girl with nobody to talk to, no friends, alone... reading "Romeo and Juliet", writing poems and essays, daydreaming, humming... that was my life and still my life.

The writings I wrote during those times are can be read on my present blog and people who read them tells me that I am strong even if I am weak.

When people tried to tarnish my reputation... to dishonor me... I WRITE. When people back stabbed me... I WRITE. Whenever I feel depressed... I WRITE. Whenever I feel that life gets harder and harder... I WRITE. Bad things, Painful things, Failures, Frustrations, Depressions and Sadness are my bullets for my self-defense call "Writing".

I write because I want other people to be inspired. I write for free and I don;t expect praises or compliments... what I really want is... what my purpose is to let them know that no matter how hard life can be, we are the only one who can judge ourselves. We are the writer of our own life story. the comment of other people don't really matter... what matters is you... only you.

Today is Sunday. I had an another hectic week. Nevertheless, I had a great time with all the people surrounded me and the new people I met and new friends. I'm still overwhelmed with all the things I received. Material gifts, letters, poems, friendship and love. These things made me feel like indeed "Life is a carnival".

Have a great day everyone!

Things that made me happy:
- Eating out with colleagues
- Gifts, letters and poems
- Him
- Positive feed backs from other people
- People who respected and appreciated me
- My parents

She is... I'm not // One sided love (A song; first draft)

(Photo by: Ina Palisoc)

"She is... I'm not"

by: Erica/Erix

Inspiration: An Interview with the girl in the mirror

Date: December 6, 2013

She is the girl who has his attention... I'm not.

She is the girl who can touch his arms... I'm not.

She is the girl who holds his hand... I'm not.

She is the girl who sees him every second... I'm not.

She is the girl who is nearer... I'm not.

She is the girl who is a beauty... I'm not.

She is the girl who possesses intelligence... I'm not.

She is the girl who can make him laugh... I'm not.

She is the girl who is with him... I'm not.

She is the girl who can have and might have his heart... I'm not.

She is the girl who is everything... I'm not.

(Photo by: Erica/Erix)

"One sided love"

by: Erica/Erix

First Draft

Chords used: Am-Em-D-Em

This one sided love

is tearing me apart

and I can't get up

tonight

This one sided love

is hard to explain

but my heart can't deny

that I fall for you, not a shame

This one sided love

is breaking my heart

because I know that you

can never love me back

This one sided love

is making me insane

my life will not be the same....

________________________________________________

I had a very tiring week. I wrote a script for a video shoot, edited it, practiced my voice over part on the video, shoot the video for almost 10 hours, studied, worked... what more could I ask for?

I never thought that creating and recording a 5-7 minutes video would be a very long process. We (Ina and I) squeezed our brains for idea. I'm so thankful because there were a lot of people who helped me especially my one man army Ms. Ina and my friends who gave me self confidence... not for them... I would not really join this competition... 

Honestly speaking, I don't care much about the prize. Whoever wins, I will support them. I joined because of the people who believes in my capabilities and talent... they'd told me that this competition would be great chance and experience for me to expose myself and to increase my self-esteem.

I am an EXTREMELY shy person... and being on the video... on my OWN video... I never really imagined it. As for the voice over part, I needed to do it many times because I couldn't stop myself from crying. The script that I wrote is all about my personal experiences and sharing it on public brought back my memories when I was discriminated over and over again... 

Anyway, I hope the edited video will be presentable... Maybe next week... I will share it in here. Have a Happy Sunday everyone!

Things that made me happy:

- My one arm army... Ms. Ina

- Playing guitar and singing "Keep holding on" and "My guardian angel"

- My friends including Him

- That I am still alive

What's Up: Life Must Go On

I've been experiencing a lot of painful things since September. Nevertheless, I believe that everything happens for a reason. I may not know the reason now but time will show me.

I had two surgeries. It was frustrating and I silently cried every night. People may say that they're not serious and it will heal...but I was the one who experienced the surgeries not them. They don't know how difficult it is (I'm using"is") for me to move, to take a bath, to eat, to travel everyday to work and school. They don't know the pain... physically and emotionally.

 (After the doctor changed my bandage on my neck)

(After I removed the bandage... I had a black eye)

Despite of what I'd been through I never neglected my duties. It was VERY difficult because my body is not strong.

Anyway, I tried my best to forget the pain. I could say that my work helped me to be happy and of course the messages I received from my friends who were very worried about my condition. I really appreciate their concern.

ROAD TO SOMEWHERE:

NYX 

I bought some cosmetics to hide the scar on my neck. My scar looks very ugly because it's still new. Everytime I look at it I feel depressed. After it heals I will definitely conceal it. Anyway, I met the friendliest sales assistant! Her name is Anna. She helped me in choosing the correct shade for my skin tone. Other SA's from other cosmetic shops are not so accommodating.
 
Ateneo De Manila University, Gateway Mall, Farmer's Wet Market

I went out with my vietnamese student (Vicky). We had a speaking and pronunciation class outside the Academy. She requested for it. I accompanied her to one of the prestigious universities in the Philippines which is Ateneo De Manila University (ADMU). I showed her the entire campus and we toured just outside. She was surprised to see how big the University is. After that, we went straight to Gateway and Farmer's where we did "Fruits Shopping". She loves Cherries as I love Strawberries. We had a great time together even if the cultural and language barrier were visible between us. Unfortunately, at the end of our tour she lost her camera. It was sad because almost all of the pictures from her travels was there...

SANRIO SHOP

My guitar tutor and I supposed to have a mini celebration because of my improvement in guitar lessons but I needed to go home right away. We decided to check some Hello Kity stuffs because my tutor loves this character. Of course the store is full of pink merchandise.


WHat's up?
I'm contnuing my guitar lessons. I think I improved because I can finally play the guitar and sing at the same time. The chords transition is getting better and more precise. I'm so happy! I even took a video and recorded myself but I will not upload it. On January, maybe I will make a decent version. :)

Aside from that, I received my almost perfect grades in MBA. They told me that it was supposed to be perfect but I had absences reason why they needed to gave me a grade lower than the highest grade. So sad. 

This second semester will be another hectic sem. My subjects are heavy!

1. Entrepreneurial Management
2. Financial Accounting
3. Financial Management

Wish me luck!

Things that made me happy
-Playing guitar
-Singing
-Listening to Music
-Strawberries! <3
-Messages from my friends