Blog // Why I Like Writing (5 Reasons)

(Draft For My Collection Of Words)

 

It’s been almost three years since I started this blog. Since then, I have continued to write here whatever goes on my mind. Random things that interest me, things that I’m doing, my thoughts, my emotions, my ideas, my opinions, recipe etc.… anything goes.

 

People asked me questions like:

“Do you write to become famous? Do you want people to know you?”

“Why do you write?”

“What are you thinking whenever you write?”

“Writing is such a waste of time, why do you do it?”

“Do you think you’ll be rich if you write?”

 

I always get these questions from people who are supposed to support me in writing.. Unfortunately, they can’t understand why I like to write.

“Do you write to become famous? Do you want people to know you?”

Of course not. I never dreamed of becoming famous. As much as possible, I want to stay anonymous. But the things on my blog, I share them to selected people… people in my PRIVATE Facebook account and Instagram. I like it when strangers read my blog. Because they don’t really care much who I really am, they give me HONEST and unbiased opinion… and they don’t insult me.

I like writing because:

Emotional Therapy

I’ve been in many bad situations. I met cruel and insulting people. I’ve been backstabbed by people whom I thought were my friends. I was treated like a piece of SH*T. People disappointed me again and again… and these things that happened to me caused me a lot of emotional issues.

I am not like other people who can fight ASAP. I didn’t have the guts and the confidence to express what I felt during those situations and I still don't. Most of the time, I keep everything to myself. Talking to others about them would be in vain, because some of them will not let me finish with my story first, they will insert theirs and the next thing I knew we would be talking about his/her situation, not mine. So instead of releasing what’s inside me, I always ended up carrying a heavier burden on my shoulders compared before. The results are stress and depression, which are two of the main reasons why I write.

 

In writing, I have the freedom to express what I want to express and to say what I want to say which I am not capable of saying in person. There are a lot of hindrances in communicating verbally with other people and the best way for me to speak my mind is through writing.

 

Every time I write, I feel that my mind and my hands are in some kind of an agreement because they work in unity.

 

Writing helped me and still helping me to ease the sadness, stress, depression, frustration, tension, confusion. I just write everything on a piece of paper. Sometimes in rhyming words (Collection of words), sometimes through a dramatic short story, etc.…

 

Writing is an Emotional Therapy for me. In writing, I can find peace of mind, even if only for a short time.

 

Communication Channel With Strangers

It is never my intention to have readers. I started sharing my blog just last year to selected friends whom I know will understand me and will never insult me. I don’t even put on tags on my posts.

However, some strangers or people from other countries will sometimes stumble on my blog. I don’t know if they read my posts in detail, but there were some who sometimes send me emails, extending their appreciation on a certain post.

It’s nice to know that there are people who can relate to my boring life.

 

A Way Of Creating My Own Tiny Little World

I am a City Woman. I was born in a City and sometimes I feel tired being here. Too much pollution, noise, crowded places, partying here and there, the constant back-biting of people… it’s tiring to be in this kind of environment. Whenever I feel tired being here, I just write and re-read my blog posts. Why? Because I can release everything through writing. I can express my appreciation about everyday life tiny miracles like sunshine, sunrise, sunset, birds, flowers, nature, etc.… without being judged as a soft hearted weird human being. Whenever I say my thoughts about them, my listeners will call me a CHEESY, CORNY and DRAMATIC person. Is it really? I just like expressing my appreciation with everything around me, because these things are some of the reasons why I am not giving up the society I am currently in to.

 

Helped/Helps Me To Be Open Minded

Even before I started writing, I was a bookworm first and I still am. My friends say that “I devour books like a glutton devour their food” (From “The Innocent Traitor” by Alison Weir”). Reading a lot helped me widen my vocabulary, review my grammar and learn things which I didn’t know before. Reading and writing enlightened me about Life, Love, Beauty and Death. They helped me understand myself more and they are helping me to understand other people now. Writing enlightened me and I want to be enlightened, more in the future.

 

Best Remedy For Heartache

I’ve seen a lot of broken hearted women who write in their journal to ease their heartache. I’m doing this “Writing on my Diary” thing ever since. Heartache about love or about anything that is causing your heart to feel pain. Sometimes, we lose important people in our lives, sometimes people leave us without saying goodbye, sometimes they hurt us without the intention to… and these causes us heartache. The best way to somehow ease the pain is to “Write” it down on a piece of paper.

 

So those are my 5 basic reasons why I write. Do we have the same reason?… Or maybe you’re too lazy to write?  But believe me or not, Writing helped me to become a BETTER person. Try it sometimes and you’ll see what I am talking about.

I write not to impress, but to express and if other people can’t understand this… I can’t do anything but to accept their opinion, even if sometimes it hurts me to be criticized in a destructive way.

Have a good day everyone!

Sincerely,

Erica/Erix

Things that made me happy:

1. Writing this blog post. I hope that the people who will read this will somehow relate with my 5 Basic Reasons Why I Write.
2. My book package arrived yesterday. One of my weird hobbies is collecting old books. I'm so happy because I was able to get a 1961 copy of Leo Tolstoy Resurrection. Yes! :)
3. Exercising and drinking my Lemon Water Detox.
4. Reading "The Republic Of Plato" while eating my breakfast. I enjoyed my toast because of my strawberry jam. I love strawberry! <3
5. Playing guitar and singing along. I don't care if I am not good... I just wanted to release some stress because lately... I am not happy.
6. That I am still ALIVE. :)



Blog // I Am Blessed (5 Reasons) And So Are You

Do you sometimes feel like you are the UNLIKIEST person in the world? Do you feel like you’re the UGLIEST and that no man will ever accept you for who and what you are? Do you feel like the whole world hates you and that nobody will ever be in your company? Do you feel neglected and abandoned in times of trouble? Do you sometimes feel like there’s no HOPE and that you want to give up?

Because I DID… and I still DO sometimes. Lately… these are what I have been feeling. I worry about things like these from time to time… specially when bad things keep on happening to me in a series of unfortunate events. I am very emotional and sensitive. Some will say that I am so hard and strict to myself and the word “PERFECTION” is imprinted on my forehead. I must admit that I am guilty with this “Perfectionism” syndrome.

For the past months I’ve been into series of events wherein I suffered so much; Emotionally and Physically. You know, enduring everything by yourself is not good. It has been said that “Too much” is not really good, right? Enduring “Anger”, “Sadness”, “Confusion”, “Frustration”, “Desire” etc… can cause a person to be stressed and depressed for a long period of time which can result to “ANXIETY”.

Maybe, I was blinded by the saying “TIME WILL SOLVE EVERY THING”, but waiting and letting time alone to solve everything is not enough. If you will not act and do something… how will you be able to break free from your current painstakingly situation? Yes, you feel helpless, that’s why you are letting yourself be carried away or blown away by time and everything that’s happening around you. However, nothing will change if you will not act and speak what’s in your mind. Don’t be like me who is always TIMID. I can’t even voice out my opinion to the elderly even if I know that my reasons are justifiable enough to be accepted by others. It’s one of my flaws. One of my seniors scolded me for being this way and I learned my lessons from it. Being TOO NICE can’t help you in this competitive world. You must speak out so that your opinions and ideas will be heard… you might never know that your words will be able to make a difference. Tiny difference is STILL a difference… it might be small but it CAN be material. And always remember that YOU ARE BLESS.

The bad things that I had experienced made me appreciate my life and myself even more. They taught me how to be me, to be more patient and to believe in life. Therefore, I am Bless and so ARE YOU.

We are blessed because:

We are where we are now:

Some of us are working, some are maybe in school, some are job hunting and some are maybe doing things that they must do in order to survive in this world. Do not think about what you DON’T HAVE. Instead… let us FOCUS on what we have. Appreciating where we are now and what we have now will make us even more THANKFUL for every little thing. Some people are unemployed, some are illiterate, some do not even have money to pay for tuition fee and some people are stuck from being an undergraduate… Do not be envious about the success of others, because WE DON’T know what kind of journey they had experienced before they arrived where they are now. You are BLESSED for having a job, for being able to go to school, for having an opportunity to look for a job.

We Have A Roof Above Our Head:

It doesn’t matter if you live in an apartment, condominium, mansion, big house, small house, studio unit… what matters is that you have what you can call a “HOME” where, at the end of the day you can go inside. The roof above your head will shelter you from the heavy rain, snow storm, and terrible heat of the sun. The roof serves as your protection against many things… You are blessed for having a roof above your head because there are a lot of people who live in the street. No matter how small your house is always remember that there is someone out there who is wishing that they have a house like yours.

You Can Do What You Are Currently Doing:

Whether it be job related, a hobby or an activity to pass the time… we should be THANKFUL for everything that we can do. Reading books, writing, playing an instrument, speaking, doing your job well or sometimes just playing cards. Why? Because there are people who can’t see, who can’t hear, people who are unable to do the things that you can do because they don’t have the capability to do so. Some of them are not blessed with perfect number of body parts or a perfect number of senses… You are blessed because of what you can do. So let us use our capabilities to make a positive difference in this world.

We Have Someone We Can Call As True Friends:

I believe that everyone of us have TRUE FRIENDS. True and Loyal friends who are on your side not only during the good times but also during the bad times. It has been said that you will know who your true friends are when you are in a bad situation. Like me, I can say that I have few true and loyal friends. They accepted me for WHO I am. They have seen me without makeup… they have seen me in my worst appearance but they didn’t forsake me; instead they’ve embraced my flaws because every flaw that I have is PART OF ME. And we are so blessed for having them in our lives.

We Are Alive:

After what happened to me, I appreciate my life and myself more. Every one of us is experiencing a different kind of pain. We have our own problem, battle and fight… we mustn’t act as if we are the only one who have problems. Being able to wake up in the morning safely is already a blessing, don’t you think so? Being able to see the sunlight in the morning is what I consider a miracle because it means that I am alive and I still have the opportunity to make my life more colorful. We are blessed because we are alive.

So see, in every little thing… we are blessed. Don’t let a single bad event ruin every happiness that you have. Time will solve everything… but make sure to act and not just wait. Hope but never ever expect.

I bid you a good day everyone.

Sincerely,
Erica/Erix

Things that made happy:

1. Being able to read books... alone.
2. Being able to find some good secondhand books. I like buying secondhand and/or old books.
3. Diner with my mother. We ate a very spicy Korean Crispy Chicken. I love chicken. <3
4. That I am still alive.

Blog // Rude People

I am going to talk about here about my recent experience with Rude People last month. I was on my to the train station. It's summer and I usually take the shortcut by entering a "High End" shopping mall along Ortigas (High end?) I always walk there because it's convenient, air-conditioned and it's not polluted. And because the Security Guards always see me, I've became acquainted with some of them. They always greet me and they don't even check my bag anymore. Sometimes they will ask me why am I too early or if I finished my job early etc... I don't know their name and they don't know mine too. Regardless, I talk to them once in a while.

And then one day. After I got off from a taxi, I walked towards the entrance of the mall; a white car parked in front of me. I was like... "This is not the place for unloading the passenger"... couldn't they see the sign? But I just ignored them. From that car, a woman of late forties got off together with her husband. She was carrying an LV bag, the usual see-through blouse and some black slacks with her super high heels (I bet it was CMG). She was very petite. While her husband... If I can remember correctly... he was wearing a CK Shirt. They were talking in English which is very common in that area. I was on my way to the entrance. I was walking ahead of this couple while all of a sudden the woman pushed me aside so that she will be the first one to be checked by the guards. I was like... "What did just happen?" Her husband eyed me from head to toe as if calculating the price of what I was wearing at that time. I felt terrible and I wanted to pushed the woman too... but no! My mother raised me well. And then they stopped just in front of the main entrance. They were conversing. When it was my turn to be checked... the guards greeted me warmly.

"Good Afternoon Maam... You're early today."
I answered "Good Afternoon. Yes. Thank you."

The guard didn't check my bag... she only smiled at me. I saw the expression of the couple who eyed as if wondering who I was. I gave them my sideway glance, chin up, stomach in and went on my way. If you will only see the expression on the faces... it was extremely hilarious.

Why? Because I was carrying a huge backpack for mountain climbing, my favorite almost faded pants from Forever 21, my overly used sketchers running shoes and a simple loose blouse. That's all. The brands were pretty average and I didn't even have any accessories on. I think it was a huge blow for the couple that the Security guards greeted me warmly and didn't check my bag despite wearing average brands of clothing. I don't care about her LV bags or any high end brand they have... I am not even sure if they are all authentic. I don't like those brands! and even if I have all the means to buy them... I will not. I prefer edgy average brand that suits my personality. I go to thrift shops, vintage shops and wherever as long as I can buy clothes that only me can have. I hate wearing clothes that everybody wears.

I therefore conclude that RUDE people like them... do really exist. So, for them... wearing branded clothes and jewelries defines respect and "SPECIAL TREATMENT"? Hell no. You know what, I give more respect to people who are outrageously HUMBLE yet outrageously RICH. I know a lot people who are like this. Some of them are businessman, company owner, CEO, Boss, people who have high position in a company... but when you see them they look so simple and sometimes average. They maybe wearing and carrying branded things... but they don't really show them off. Because for them... it's a NECESSITY not a FASHION TREND and definitely not a ticket for special treatment.

This is one of the reasons why I don't shop at that mall. And no, I am not a hater. It's just that, I didn't deserve to be treated that way. When somebody pushes you aside all of a sudden, what will you do? How will you feel? Will you just walk away? Yes you can ignore, but let's be honest here... deep in your mind, you will feel offended.

Have a great day everyone.

Remember... the price of your clothes can never define you, but the way you wear them and the way you carry yourself.

Sincerely,
Erica/Erix

Things that made me happy:

1. My perfect grade in Project Research and Development.
2. After long three weeks of being sick, I can finally say that I feel better now. I am still weak but at least the pain is gone.
3. Shopping school stuffs. I felt like I was in elementary... shopping for pens and notebooks. I was so excited yesterday. :)
4. Watching Japanese Animated Films.
5. Re-watching "The Tudors". I can't get enough of my Anne Boleyn addiction. I want all the history books about her.
6. Conversing with Japanese people in Instagram. A very short chatting about the photos they posted. :) Why? Because most of them are really good in taking pictures. Their styles vary from time to time... and I LOVE looking at their pictures. :) It tells a certain story about the place they've been to that makes me want to go there too. This is the reason why my desire to visit their country again increases as the days go by. :)

What's Up: My Emotion (Thoughts and Opinion) // Eat // Movie // Walk

 ( View on Instagram )

 I went out with my mother yesterday. I've been sick for almost 2 weeks now and it's making me depressed. Aside from that, there are people who are becoming an addition to my depression. These people don't know how to be "Considerate". Sometimes, I want to teach them about this word, but it will only cause a big fight... And I hate fighting with people who are so closed minded because they will NEVER EVER listen to the words you will say. Even if I am CORRECT... I will never be for them. So that's it. I had enough. I decided to ignore them and do whatever I want. I just hope that they will not mind me too. I just can't understand why do they spend their precious time to me if they consider me as someone WORTHLESS? Can't they just let me be? Just leave me alone.

 

They are the reason why I sometimes want to go somewhere far away. Away from their non-sense babbling, rambling, grumbling, backstabbing. Away from their piercing insults, knife slashing words that can instantly kill my self confidence, the harshness of their opinion controlled by their hatred towards me. When I am with them... I get tired easily since they talk a lot. They don't give me an opportunity to talk and express my mind. I have no chance of defending myself against them... Yet, defending myself will ALWAYS be in vain.

 

Do you know how I feel? I am very TIRED. I am so sick and I want to break away from them... If I have the chance to shut their mouth and mind... I WILL because I want peace of mind. And this "Peace of Mind" can only be achieved if they will stop torturing me with "Comparison" and their "Sickening" behavior. Of course, they will not.

 

I think this post is full of HATRED. I will not apologize. It's about time for me to release my emotional stress... This is my blog, my page... The only space where I can express my mind without the intervention of those inconsiderate people.

 

______________________________

 

I ate out with my mother yesterday. With all the pasta that I tried to swallow... I was so sick after eating. I needed to finish everything because the food was quite expensive and I hate wasting money. In the restaurant, everywhere I turned my eyes into... I only saw people holding their phone...

1. Four member family who was not talking with each other because every member was busy updating their SNS Accounts.
2. Couple on a date who's not talking with each other... Yes... phone in their hands.
3. Grandparents who looked sad because their grandchildren were busy with their phone. These old people were left alone watching others who were busy with their gadgets.

And I got sick from watching them. Yes, it was not my business to mind them and since I didn't voice out my opinion that time... I didn't do any damaging act. However, I just feel sad how the world changes into a place where people are becoming technology controlled human beings. Hey, just so you know... I didn't even use my phone at that time because I want to talk with my mother in person and not in cyberspace.

 

______________________

 

My mother and I watched "Maleficent" starring Angelina Jollie and Elle Fanning. I was not in the mood to watch a movie, but since my mother suggested that I should watch in order to forget my sickness even for a while... I gave in with her invitation. It was a good movie though... A different story about True Love.

 

We walked and walked and walked after... Honestly, I am starting to hate the atmosphere in shopping malls. Why? Because I can only see PHOTOCOPIES of one another. It's like a place where they manufacture men and women, boys and girls who look the same. What is happening? Maybe you'll ask "Why, aren't you the same?" Maybe I am guilty... And I am afraid that sometimes I am tempted to do the things that they normally do... What is Normal? What is Ordinary? If  almost all people are doing this specific thing, wearing this specific clothes, buying from this specific shop and eating the specific food...  That's it! It's all about going with the flow and following others... The TREND. But I don't like to follow. (I will make another post about "Becoming Who You Truly Are").

 

Okay, that's enough... What I said above... I am sorry if I have offended you. I am very sorry. I just want to be honest and let myself all out.

 

( View on Instagram )

 

I think we burned all the calories from all the walking we did. At a coffee shop, we sat down for a while. That's where I used my phone to update my Instagram account. I didn't take any "Selfie" or "Shamelessselfie". I rarely do that... I like taking pictures of foods and things... not really bothering to alter every details of the picture, like using Photoshop. I don't like deceiving people... men who are easily attracted to pictures of beautiful girls. I like using filters... and enhancing the color of the surroundings... that's all! But erasing every mistake I find in the picture... no.

 __________________________________

 

I was not feeling good the whole time, the whole day... but I pretended to be okay. It was difficult for me to breathe and I was dehydrated but I didn't want to go home yet. Home means... my dismal room, lying in my bed and thinking about my sickness. But... we needed to go home...

 

( View on Instagram )

 

I said this so many times here in my blog... I don't drink coffee. I stopped drinking coffee. However, this chocolate is one of my favorites... I just couldn't help to buy this yesterday. I've been looking for this for a long time! I was so happy.

 

So now... maybe you'll think that I am a total hater... this post is really random. RANDOM.

 

Have a great day everyone.

 

I am praying for my fast recovery.

 

Sincerely,

Erica/Erix

 

 

 

 



 

What's Up: I Am Sick // 10 Movies I Watched and Re-watched

Hey, it's been a long time. Honestly, I am not in the mood to write, but I have a lot of time, so why not?

A lot of time? Yes. Summer class is over. Clap! Clap! Clap! BUT!!!!!! First Semester will start on June 21, 2014, which means I only have a few days to take a rest and have fun.

Scratch that. Have fun? How can I?!!!!! I am so sick right now and I can't have fun. I am so frustrated to the point that I cried all night because I can't dance, I can't go to work, I can't go outside, I can't meet my friends (I needed to cancel my dinner date with them). Because of these... I feel fat even if I am not. I am being a Drama Queen here again... sorry for that. Aside from that, I can't talk to my friends about my situation because they're happy and I don't want to disturb them and be a burden again.

I went to the hospital today and changed my doctor. With all honesty, the first doctor who checked me up was not very convincing. When I saw him... I could feel a negative energy. Aside from that, he looked very nervous when he saw me and he looked funny... weird... strange. He didn't even check me well. I complained to my mother, but she said we'll go back again if my condition will not change because we couldn't go to the hospital the next day (Saturday) because it's my Defense day for my Project Research Development... I must be present.

The Doctor who checked me today is my grandmother's doctor. When I saw her and interviewed me, I can say that I was at ease the whole conversation. When she touched me to check a part of my body, her touched resembled my mother's and I like her instantly. She gave an additional medication and told me that I needed some test which means that I need to go back again... I am so tired, but it's for my health so I must endure, right?

I feel alone but not sad nowadays that's why I spent my time watching movies and dance videos. I swear!!!!! I am going to dance when I get better. I miss Zumba so much. I miss it terribly!!!!

Here's a list of the movies I watched for the past few days. (All pictures are from google.com)

Tonari no Totoro (1988)

 

 

I'm a fan of Totoro. I did drawings of this character when I was in highschool. Re-watching this movie made me feel nostalgic and it's like I was transported back to the past. :) It's a good movie for children. You can learn a lot of lessons here. I don't have a sibling and I envy Mei-chan for having a sister. :)

Nobody Knows (2004)

 

 

It's a great movie. I laughed, I cried but I felt so sorry most of the time. It's a good movie for family and for those women who are going to be a mother in the future. When I finished watching this, I swore to myself that I will NEVER neglect and/or abandon my children in the future, that I will be faithful to my husband and dedicate myself to my family.

 

The Secret World Of Arrietty (2011)

 

 

I had a good time watching this even if it caused me a very painful headache the next day, since I watched this late at night. I thought it was a romance film but fortunately it was not. I love the plot that's why I plan to look for the novel to read it. The movie and novel are always different, right?

 

Paprika (2006)

 

 

Weird. Very strange for me. I enjoyed it though. When my student learned that I watched this, he looked at me and said "You're very weird Teacher Erica."

 

Howl's Moving Castle (2004)

 

 

Howl is my crush right now! hahaha! Yeah. I think he's very cool and his love for Sophie is quite PURE. I want to experience that too. Pure Love. <3 <3 <3 It's one of my favorites from Studio Ghibili. :)

Kiki's Delivery Service (1989)

 

 

Do you want to be a witch? Kiki is one of my favorite witches in town! This is a good movie. That's all I can say. I don't want to be an spoiler. :)

 

Lady Jane (1986)

 

 

Are you a Tudor History enthusiast like me? The if yes, I suggest this movie. This is the story of Lady Jane, cousin of Edward the VI, son of Henry the VIII from his third wife Jane Seymour. Lady Jane is one of favorite Tudor women, maybe second to Queen Anne Boleyn. This movie is not Historically accurate though. Nevertheless, the actor and actress made the it very real. I was so into it the whole time. If you like Tudor History, please contact me... and let's have a chat because all of my friends can't relate with me. They now consider me as a History Freak.

Akira (1988)

 

 

I can't say much about this movie. The graphic is not so good because of the fact that it was made in the 1980's. The plot is quite dismal and depressing. I don't want to live in this era. Never! If you are a Shounen fanatic.. this movie is for you.

 

Perfect Blue (1988)

 

 

Do you want to be famous? Will you do everything to be known? Well, this movie is about an ex-J-pop artist who decided to pursue an acting career, but during the process something peril happened. Did I like the movie? So-so. I just hate watching women being violated.

The Girl Who Leapt Through Time (2006)

 

 

This is the 5th time I watched this. I already watched the Live action movie 4 times. I read the novel too. I therefore conclude that every version has a different story line. Nevertheless, I like this movie even if the ending is very depressing. It made my heart broken.

I still have a lot movies to watch, a lot of Tudor History book to read and a lot of Totoro drawings to finish... Good night everyone!

Stay healthy!

Things that made me happy:

1. Eating Meiji Chocolate.
2. Listening to Zumba music and imagining myself dancing.
3. Studying how to play "Greensleeves", an English folk song during the 16th century, the Tudor Era.
4. Reading Tudor History Books.
5. That I am still alive.