Saturday, September 21, 2013

What's Up: The Start of Semestral Break


Another Ironic post...I was so happy this morning but it was washed away by something. I think I will be visiting the Hospital again. Just imagining the interior of the building, the faces of the patients, the smell of alcohol and the depressing scene... I'm starting to panic and get nervous again. I don't want to go there... but if I want to have peace of mind I must go and face the future... What will happen then? No one knows.

My first semester in Graduate School is not something to be proud of but something to be remember. It was worth it. I was able to learn more things other than Accounting, I met new friends who are older than me (Professionals), I had the chance to exposed myself with unfamilliar things, I learned how to socialized in an unforgiving and competitive environment and lastly I somehow became a better person.

The hardest part was the process of completing my presentations. I had no idea what to do first, how to present in front of so many people who are well educated, how to carry myself and how to make them respect me despite of being one of the youngest MBA students. Fortunately, even if I am very EXHAUSTED now... I was able to do them through hard work, persistence, self-control and of course through social networking.

Honestly speaking, I want to graduate faster. I'm starting to get more tired everyday and I'm really bothered with something. I may not be able to enjoy my one month vacation in Graduate School because of this. It's freaking me out! really! I have to control myself or else I might break down again... I don't want to go back to that kind of life. I had enough of it. Drama. Tears and Darkness.

On the other hand, I am going to try to focus on something like writing ramdom verses, reading books, studying foreign language, or anything! just to calm down.

Tomorrow, I will face this new challenge in my life. Just like what I've been telling to everybody, to my friends and to him... "Think positive. Everything will be alright." I want to punch myself for giving this advice to them because I realized how hard it is to follow. I'm very sorry. For this kind of situation, this is the only thing I can do... PRAY.

Good night. Tomorrow will be another day. I am hoping for a better day.

Things that made me happy:
- Semestral Break
- Oranges
- Health Tips from my classmates
- Positive feedbacks from students
- Successful Presentations
- Talking to him
- Cranberry Juice
- Writing on my notebook (Stress Reliever)



Sunday, September 15, 2013

Blog // I am a "FLOWER"


This SEPTEMBER is not really for me. Honestly, I want this month to end faster. I AM SO TIRED. Exhausted. On the other hand, my inspiration is the only thing that keeps me in moving forward. This inspiration is a person...

This blog entry will be about my name. My students often told me that my name is one of the common Japanese names for girls. Honestly speaking my mother got my name from an anime character that was aired in the Philippines wayback year 1960 something. My name is actually a princess name. While the other meaning of my name is "SADNESS" in the language of flower. Erica is actually a kind of flower but most commonly known in its english name "Heather". 

I don't know if Heather is available in this country but I'm going to look for it next month. :) I want to raise this at our garden. Nowadays, our garden looks so dull. You can only find "Santan" flowers and grasses there. Since one of my Aunt told me that a real woman must know how to take care of flowers, I am currently raising roses . I'm not the girly girl type but I am trying to change a little bit because I am not getting younger. I'm an adult now so I have to think and act like one.

Here's my favorite variations of the ERICA.

 (ERICA DENTICULATA)

 (ERICA LEUCANTHA)

(ERICA MELANTHERA)

Today, I somehow find some peace of mind. My questions were answered... Probably. At least he didn't wish to cut the connection. Life is short... that's why I am trying my best to show my true self. I'm getting tired of imprisoning myself inside my cage. I was able to say what I wanted to say, expressed what I wanted to express and I feel like I can finally breathe with ease. Thank you very much.

Tomorrow is a new day. Happiness is a choice and I choose to be happy. 

Things that made me happy this week:
- Letter from my student Yuu-chan
- Cactus and Roses
- Strawberry Chocolates
-Successful presentation in Marketing Management
- New poem dedicated to my friend (It's about her situation.)
- Crossing out things listed on my check list
- Studying
- His answers to my questions