I went out with my mother yesterday. I've been sick for almost 2 weeks now and it's making me depressed. Aside from that, there are people who are becoming an addition to my depression. These people don't know how to be "Considerate". Sometimes, I want to teach them about this word, but it will only cause a big fight... And I hate fighting with people who are so closed minded because they will NEVER EVER listen to the words you will say. Even if I am CORRECT... I will never be for them. So that's it. I had enough. I decided to ignore them and do whatever I want. I just hope that they will not mind me too. I just can't understand why do they spend their precious time to me if they consider me as someone WORTHLESS? Can't they just let me be? Just leave me alone.
They are the reason why I sometimes want to go somewhere far away. Away from their non-sense babbling, rambling, grumbling, backstabbing. Away from their piercing insults, knife slashing words that can instantly kill my self confidence, the harshness of their opinion controlled by their hatred towards me. When I am with them... I get tired easily since they talk a lot. They don't give me an opportunity to talk and express my mind. I have no chance of defending myself against them... Yet, defending myself will ALWAYS be in vain.
Do you know how I feel? I am very TIRED. I am so sick and I want to break away from them... If I have the chance to shut their mouth and mind... I WILL because I want peace of mind. And this "Peace of Mind" can only be achieved if they will stop torturing me with "Comparison" and their "Sickening" behavior. Of course, they will not.
I think this post is full of HATRED. I will not apologize. It's about time for me to release my emotional stress... This is my blog, my page... The only space where I can express my mind without the intervention of those inconsiderate people.
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I ate out with my mother yesterday. With all the pasta that I tried to swallow... I was so sick after eating. I needed to finish everything because the food was quite expensive and I hate wasting money. In the restaurant, everywhere I turned my eyes into... I only saw people holding their phone...
- Four member family who was not talking with each other because every member was busy updating their SNS Accounts.
- Couple on a date who's not talking with each other... Yes... phone in their hands.
- Grandparents who looked sad because their grandchildren were busy with their phone. These old people were left alone watching others who were busy with their gadgets.
And I got sick from watching them. Yes, it was not my business to mind them and since I didn't voice out my opinion that time... I didn't do any damaging act. However, I just feel sad how the world changes into a place where people are becoming technology controlled human beings. Hey, just so you know... I didn't even use my phone at that time because I want to talk with my mother in person and not in cyberspace.
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My mother and I watched "Maleficent" starring Angelina Jollie and Elle Fanning. I was not in the mood to watch a movie, but since my mother suggested that I should watch in order to forget my sickness even for a while... I gave in with her invitation. It was a good movie though... A different story about True Love.
We walked and walked and walked after... Honestly, I am starting to hate the atmosphere in shopping malls. Why? Because I can only see PHOTOCOPIES of one another. It's like a place where they manufacture men and women, boys and girls who look the same. What is happening? Maybe you'll ask "Why, aren't you the same?" Maybe I am guilty... And I am afraid that sometimes I am tempted to do the things that they normally do... What is Normal? What is Ordinary? If almost all people are doing this specific thing, wearing this specific clothes, buying from this specific shop and eating the specific food... That's it! It's all about going with the flow and following others... The TREND. But I don't like to follow. (I will make another post about "Becoming Who You Truly Are").
Okay, that's enough... What I said above... I am sorry if I have offended you. I am very sorry. I just want to be honest and let myself all out.
( View on Instagram )
I think we burned all the calories from all the walking we did. At a coffee shop, we sat down for a while. That's where I used my phone to update my Instagram account. I didn't take any "Selfie" or "Shamelessselfie". I rarely do that... I like taking pictures of foods and things... not really bothering to alter every details of the picture, like using Photoshop. I don't like deceiving people... men who are easily attracted to pictures of beautiful girls. I like using filters... and enhancing the color of the surroundings... that's all! But erasing every mistake I find in the picture... no.
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I was not feeling good the whole time, the whole day... but I pretended to be okay. It was difficult for me to breathe and I was dehydrated but I didn't want to go home yet. Home means... my dismal room, lying in my bed and thinking about my sickness. But... we needed to go home...
I said this so many times here in my blog... I don't drink coffee. I stopped drinking coffee. However, this chocolate is one of my favorites... I just couldn't help to buy this yesterday. I've been looking for this for a long time! I was so happy.
So now... maybe you'll think that I am a total hater... this post is really random. RANDOM.
Have a great day everyone.
I am praying for my fast recovery.
Sincerely,
Erica/Erix
