Insults and Dirty Looks

(Photo by: Maritess Boudreau)

I've been lying low for quite some time now. I'd been through a period wherein I got really tired of EVERYTHING. I am an Introvert and I needed some time to recharge myself. Socializing has been a difficult task for me ever since. I love talking with other people... it's true, but sometimes I get tired and I want to spend time just staring blankly. I desire peace and quite surroundings. I desire fresh air and strong wind that will make me feel that I am the only person in this world... that I could fly. 

Because of my way of thinking, people call me INSANE, STRANGE... I am TOO lazy to explain myself why I do things which are different from others. In the first place, why do I need to explain myself? I always believe that being mysterious in the eyes of others will definitely sparks "Interest" and "Curiosity". In my case... I don't give explanation because I don't want to waste my time. TIME IS MONEY... 

I have been receiving DIRTY LOOKS, INSULTING COMMENTS from others. They would look at me and talk about me. The funny thing is I don't know them but they know me. I know that I shouldn't mind them, but sometimes these circumstances make me ask myself:

"Did I do something wrong to deserve such things?"

"Have I offended them in some ways that I didn't know?"

"Why is it that they can only see me?"

"Why me?"

My friends and family insisted that it is because I look different... that I am different. What can I do? Should I undergo plastic surgery? Should I cut my hair or maybe make it straight? Should I wear skirt and shorts? Should I flaunt my legs and cleavage? Should I wear super high heels and torture myself? Should I wear dark eyeshadow and ruby red lipstick? Should I be like them?

Yes... sometimes I think about these questions and wonder... but my answers are NO. Why would I do something I am not comfortable with? Why would I wear something which is not my style? Why would I put cosmetics I am allergic with? Eyeshadow, eyeliner... my eyes hate them. Why would I let myself be someone who I am not?

As I have said before... Everyone is distinct from one another. They can never force me or tempt me to be like them even if they pay me millions of money. I love being me and because of letting myself to be who I really am... I feel free. I can distinguish myself from the others. I know myself better than anyone else.

With all honesty, my energy was drained from thinking and being bothered about them. It's my mistake for minding them. I need to remind myself that I was not born to please unnecessary people in my life... and these women are definitely UNNECESSARY. Unnecessary things must be discarded... so I must erase them on my mind for the sake of having a peace of mind.

I promise I will never be like them. I started by giving them smile from all the nasty look and sneer they gave me. Let's fight the bad people by giving them kindness and sincerity... because they need them the most.

Have a good day everyone!

Sincerely,

Erica/Erix

Things that made me happy:

1. Playing my guitar. Blank Space by Taylor Swift is so catchy.
2. Sketching. I miss using soft pastel. Another Black and White Art.
3. Eating Cinnamon sticks. 
4. Talking with my 8 years old cousin. She's just so cute and talkative.
5. That I am still alive.
6. That my parents are healthy.
7. That my friends are in good condition.
8. Cold weather. (I wish there's winter here.... sigh. I miss the smell of winter.)