Thursday, July 17, 2014
Tuesday, July 1, 2014
Ways To Mend Your Broken Heart
There are times in our life when we can’t seem to find a way
out in a certain unfortunate situation. Times when we want to give up.
Times when your frustration eats you because you can’t think of solutions to solve your problems. Times when you feel that everyone is deserting you because of your everyday drama. Times when you feel that people only know your name when they needed something from you and after getting what they wanted, you will be back as a stranger to them; a nobody; a staff in a Favor Bank (Just like what Paulo Coelho said in his book “The Zahir”). Times when you just want to disappear so that everything will stop, your surroundings will be in a state of idleness and you will not hear anything; even your breathing and the beat of your heart will be dissolved into nothingness.
You feel helpless. No matter what other people say to you, they don’t create a certain spark that will wake you up from the slumber of brokenness. In other words, you are already drowning and on the verge of slipping into the deep abyss of sadness. In that place, you can’t see clearly for even a tiny bright light that may lead you out is cannot be seen. You are lost on your way, there’s no one to guide you, there’s no one to pull you up, there’s no one who will say “Everything’s going to be okay.”
Why? Because even if there are people who are trying to help you, trying to pull you up; people who are willing to lend their helping hands to get you out from your misery… you are deaf from all their help since you shut them up in order to focus on your problems and solving each one of them by laying them out in front causing you to see only the excruciating pain and agonizing wounds which are making you simultaneous blind.
The help will start inside of you. If you will not try to help yourself first, the help from other people will only be in vain. Useless words, no matter how inspirational they are, for you are already deaf and blind. But you can still have the sense of touch. You can still feel for if not, you will not be able to feel the pain. If you start by helping yourself to get up, you will get the affinity that you desire the most to achieve the peace of mind.
Do Not Feel Rejected (General)
The person you love cannot love you back. The person you love, love someone else. The person you love rejected you. Rejected you because you are not the person they want.
Remember “The” person. This article pertains to a single specific thing. If you are rejected by a single person, it doesn’t mean that the whole world already rejected you. How about your friends? Your family? Did they reject you? Are they rejecting you? Maybe they are the one who are trying to help you see the light. Maybe they are the one who are trying to guide you out of your painstakingly terrible situation.
I know that it’s hard because I have experienced this. Believe me or not, but it took me 4 years to get over a certain situation. But when I met TRUE friends who gave me an honest and unbiased advice, I was awakened from my deep sleep.
Do you know what you must do? You have to listen to the tiny little voice inside of you that is saying “Wake up. The reality is the real world. Stop living in your imagination that everything is still the same. Time changes everything and you have to accept the FACT that he/she is not part of your life anymore.”
By accepting what REALLY happened to you, you will feel that some of the weight on your shoulders will disappear, if not gradually, slowly at least. You need to accept the fact. It’s hard? Yes, it is. It’s painful? Very much. It hurts and it feels like you’re going to die? Yes of course. But as what Socrates has said “Beautiful things are Hard.” So, in order to efface every hindrance in front for you to move on… you have to exert efforts, you must fight, you must accept and release everything so that you will start seeing the world beautiful again.
Remember. You are not REJECTED. Don’t let a single person ruin your perception about love and relationship.
Make The Most Of Bad Situations
You are not motivated to the things that you must do because it’s like starting all over again; starting from scratch. You have no idea what to do with your life. You don’t know the reason why you are experiencing such torment and no matter how much you contrive, you cannot think of any plan how to get out of your situation to end your misery.
It doesn’t matter if you are a pessimist or an optimist, but if you want to help yourself, you will do anything, right? As long as it needs a just action.
You must treat these bad situations as a lesson in your life. The mistakes that you made in the past that caused you misery will serve as a fuel for you to move on. You have to use them as inducements to make your life better.
“You are not good enough.” Then make yourself good enough, not for the person who told you this, but for the people that are important to you.
“I don’t like you because you are not like her.” Then be yourself. You don’t have to change yourself to be someone who is not you. Self-actualization is a must in this competitive globalized environment and you must accept yourself first. Acceptance will lead you to knowing yourself better. This proper knowledge about oneself will help you to make use of your capabilities and abilities for the benefit of many people. Remember, you don’t need to please everyone because it is normal for someone to hate you. If the person you love doesn’t like you because you’re not outgoing, because you like reading books, because you like playing instrument instead of going to concerts, because you like studying, because you don’t wear sexy clothes, because you are not like the other girls or women… then this person is not worth your precious time. If this person really loves you, he/she will accept you no matter what and who you are.
Learn New Things
One of the best remedy for a broken heart is to learn new things. You feel depressed and it’s eating you up alive. This can make your skin dry, can trigger an acne breakout, can make you feel fat, can make you feel ugly, can make you see things as dark. Sounds ugly, right? Then you must alleviate your attention from the things which depresses you. If you will only focus from what is bad and not on what is good… everything will be bad on your perspective. Your world will be in chaos; random strings which are out of place.
Personally speaking, learning how to play guitar helped me a lot to lessen my depression. And honestly speaking, I am a mortally wounded and depressed person ever since. I already accepted the fact that some people around me don’t like me for who I am. They don’t like what I am doing and they don’t appreciate anything from me. But along the way, I came to like and love myself because this is how I was made… the only thing I can do is to enhance myself.
By focusing on new activities, it will help you focus on the positive side of life. Learning will always start from scratch. The process of learning, although difficult is worth it, if you let yourself enjoy what you are doing. Enjoyment is associated with happiness… you will gradually feel that the tension in your body will lessen. And of course the result? Your depression will somehow be relieved. You cannot really erase it, but at least you can do something to lessen it that will lead you to have a happy disposition in life.
Try to learn something new. Drawing perhaps, writing, reading books, Zumba, dance fitness. Go to the gym, try a new sport… let yourself be active and rest your heart from the heavy burden of a broken heart.
Say No To Revenge
Somebody treated you like a piece of trash? Treated you as a mere past-time? Considered you as a reservation? Made you feel like an important person without knowing that you were just a sadness reliever… in short, a person made you feel very small. You self-pitied. You are now hurting and in great pain. You feel angry. You wanted to hurt the other person to let him/her know the pain that you are going through.
But… please don’t. If you are aiming for a peace of mind, the best thing you can do is to accept what happened and of course learned from it. You hate what is happening to you right now, right? Then why do you need to let other people feel the same way as you do, if you already know how painful it is to be in your situation? Revenge will not do you good. This will only create more pain inside of your heart. This will only make you feel more confused.
Let time do the revenge for you. Remember that there are BAD KARMA and this will hit a person very fast. It’s like a sneaking venom that will strike a defenseless person.
I also suggest not to post “TOO MUCH” hatred on your SNS accounts. Do you know why? Because this action can make you look like a PATHETIC attention seeking person. You hate the term. I know. If you want to express your hatred, write it down; on your diary, journal, blog (like what I am doing) or on any piece of paper.
But please do not do reckless things that will lead to your ruin. Because if you do, you will be the poor loser at the end.
Always Remember That You Are Not Ugly
Rejection doesn’t mean that you are ugly although it can make you feel as one. Beauty is all about the way you see yourself. If other people call you ugly, that’s their opinion, that’s how they see you… it is not yours but theirs. As I have said before, everything will have to start from you. Start from feeling beautiful. Start from accepting your flaws. Do not be overwhelmed by advertisements you see on media. They were PHOTSHOPPED. They were ENHANCED. Marketers and advertisers use this marketing strategy to promote their products and enticed the market to buy them. Wake up! You are not ugly. Do you know what you must do? That is to enhance what you already have.
Physically speaking, wearing appropriate makeup will not make you look like a “Hooker”, a “Flirt”, a “Prostitute” or a “Whore” neither. Makeup, if use appropriately and adequately can make you look and feel beautiful. It can give you confidence. It’s a women’s defense, so use it.
The next thing to do is to clean your inside. Set aside all negative thoughts. Start thinking about happy thoughts. As for me, I always write on my mini notebook “Things that made me happy” because they will always remind me that life is indeed beautiful no matter how unfair it is.
Do good things and be good. Be considerate and patience. Don’t let anger ruin your beauty. Do not plant seed of grudge inside you because if this will grow… you will be a person oozing with negative aura and people will avoid you.
Start by being good and true to yourself. Love yourself. Make yourself beautiful not only on the outside but also in the inside.
Always remember that YOU ARE A TREASURE and the person who will find you will treat you as one. You are not alone… you have your friends and family with you so stop feeling neglected and abandoned. Let yourself be exposed to change and do not be afraid about the future. Focus on what’s IMPORTANT and stop wasting your time on people who can’t even give you a tiny space in their life. Do not force them to like or love you. If they don’t want you, then don’t. The earth is a big place. Do not push yourself in a tiny space. Your time is PRECIOUS. You are beautiful if you see yourself as one.
Times when your frustration eats you because you can’t think of solutions to solve your problems. Times when you feel that everyone is deserting you because of your everyday drama. Times when you feel that people only know your name when they needed something from you and after getting what they wanted, you will be back as a stranger to them; a nobody; a staff in a Favor Bank (Just like what Paulo Coelho said in his book “The Zahir”). Times when you just want to disappear so that everything will stop, your surroundings will be in a state of idleness and you will not hear anything; even your breathing and the beat of your heart will be dissolved into nothingness.
You feel helpless. No matter what other people say to you, they don’t create a certain spark that will wake you up from the slumber of brokenness. In other words, you are already drowning and on the verge of slipping into the deep abyss of sadness. In that place, you can’t see clearly for even a tiny bright light that may lead you out is cannot be seen. You are lost on your way, there’s no one to guide you, there’s no one to pull you up, there’s no one who will say “Everything’s going to be okay.”
Why? Because even if there are people who are trying to help you, trying to pull you up; people who are willing to lend their helping hands to get you out from your misery… you are deaf from all their help since you shut them up in order to focus on your problems and solving each one of them by laying them out in front causing you to see only the excruciating pain and agonizing wounds which are making you simultaneous blind.
The help will start inside of you. If you will not try to help yourself first, the help from other people will only be in vain. Useless words, no matter how inspirational they are, for you are already deaf and blind. But you can still have the sense of touch. You can still feel for if not, you will not be able to feel the pain. If you start by helping yourself to get up, you will get the affinity that you desire the most to achieve the peace of mind.
Do Not Feel Rejected (General)
The person you love cannot love you back. The person you love, love someone else. The person you love rejected you. Rejected you because you are not the person they want.
Remember “The” person. This article pertains to a single specific thing. If you are rejected by a single person, it doesn’t mean that the whole world already rejected you. How about your friends? Your family? Did they reject you? Are they rejecting you? Maybe they are the one who are trying to help you see the light. Maybe they are the one who are trying to guide you out of your painstakingly terrible situation.
I know that it’s hard because I have experienced this. Believe me or not, but it took me 4 years to get over a certain situation. But when I met TRUE friends who gave me an honest and unbiased advice, I was awakened from my deep sleep.
Do you know what you must do? You have to listen to the tiny little voice inside of you that is saying “Wake up. The reality is the real world. Stop living in your imagination that everything is still the same. Time changes everything and you have to accept the FACT that he/she is not part of your life anymore.”
By accepting what REALLY happened to you, you will feel that some of the weight on your shoulders will disappear, if not gradually, slowly at least. You need to accept the fact. It’s hard? Yes, it is. It’s painful? Very much. It hurts and it feels like you’re going to die? Yes of course. But as what Socrates has said “Beautiful things are Hard.” So, in order to efface every hindrance in front for you to move on… you have to exert efforts, you must fight, you must accept and release everything so that you will start seeing the world beautiful again.
Remember. You are not REJECTED. Don’t let a single person ruin your perception about love and relationship.
Make The Most Of Bad Situations
You are not motivated to the things that you must do because it’s like starting all over again; starting from scratch. You have no idea what to do with your life. You don’t know the reason why you are experiencing such torment and no matter how much you contrive, you cannot think of any plan how to get out of your situation to end your misery.
It doesn’t matter if you are a pessimist or an optimist, but if you want to help yourself, you will do anything, right? As long as it needs a just action.
You must treat these bad situations as a lesson in your life. The mistakes that you made in the past that caused you misery will serve as a fuel for you to move on. You have to use them as inducements to make your life better.
“You are not good enough.” Then make yourself good enough, not for the person who told you this, but for the people that are important to you.
“I don’t like you because you are not like her.” Then be yourself. You don’t have to change yourself to be someone who is not you. Self-actualization is a must in this competitive globalized environment and you must accept yourself first. Acceptance will lead you to knowing yourself better. This proper knowledge about oneself will help you to make use of your capabilities and abilities for the benefit of many people. Remember, you don’t need to please everyone because it is normal for someone to hate you. If the person you love doesn’t like you because you’re not outgoing, because you like reading books, because you like playing instrument instead of going to concerts, because you like studying, because you don’t wear sexy clothes, because you are not like the other girls or women… then this person is not worth your precious time. If this person really loves you, he/she will accept you no matter what and who you are.
Learn New Things
One of the best remedy for a broken heart is to learn new things. You feel depressed and it’s eating you up alive. This can make your skin dry, can trigger an acne breakout, can make you feel fat, can make you feel ugly, can make you see things as dark. Sounds ugly, right? Then you must alleviate your attention from the things which depresses you. If you will only focus from what is bad and not on what is good… everything will be bad on your perspective. Your world will be in chaos; random strings which are out of place.
Personally speaking, learning how to play guitar helped me a lot to lessen my depression. And honestly speaking, I am a mortally wounded and depressed person ever since. I already accepted the fact that some people around me don’t like me for who I am. They don’t like what I am doing and they don’t appreciate anything from me. But along the way, I came to like and love myself because this is how I was made… the only thing I can do is to enhance myself.
By focusing on new activities, it will help you focus on the positive side of life. Learning will always start from scratch. The process of learning, although difficult is worth it, if you let yourself enjoy what you are doing. Enjoyment is associated with happiness… you will gradually feel that the tension in your body will lessen. And of course the result? Your depression will somehow be relieved. You cannot really erase it, but at least you can do something to lessen it that will lead you to have a happy disposition in life.
Try to learn something new. Drawing perhaps, writing, reading books, Zumba, dance fitness. Go to the gym, try a new sport… let yourself be active and rest your heart from the heavy burden of a broken heart.
Say No To Revenge
Somebody treated you like a piece of trash? Treated you as a mere past-time? Considered you as a reservation? Made you feel like an important person without knowing that you were just a sadness reliever… in short, a person made you feel very small. You self-pitied. You are now hurting and in great pain. You feel angry. You wanted to hurt the other person to let him/her know the pain that you are going through.
But… please don’t. If you are aiming for a peace of mind, the best thing you can do is to accept what happened and of course learned from it. You hate what is happening to you right now, right? Then why do you need to let other people feel the same way as you do, if you already know how painful it is to be in your situation? Revenge will not do you good. This will only create more pain inside of your heart. This will only make you feel more confused.
Let time do the revenge for you. Remember that there are BAD KARMA and this will hit a person very fast. It’s like a sneaking venom that will strike a defenseless person.
I also suggest not to post “TOO MUCH” hatred on your SNS accounts. Do you know why? Because this action can make you look like a PATHETIC attention seeking person. You hate the term. I know. If you want to express your hatred, write it down; on your diary, journal, blog (like what I am doing) or on any piece of paper.
But please do not do reckless things that will lead to your ruin. Because if you do, you will be the poor loser at the end.
Always Remember That You Are Not Ugly
Rejection doesn’t mean that you are ugly although it can make you feel as one. Beauty is all about the way you see yourself. If other people call you ugly, that’s their opinion, that’s how they see you… it is not yours but theirs. As I have said before, everything will have to start from you. Start from feeling beautiful. Start from accepting your flaws. Do not be overwhelmed by advertisements you see on media. They were PHOTSHOPPED. They were ENHANCED. Marketers and advertisers use this marketing strategy to promote their products and enticed the market to buy them. Wake up! You are not ugly. Do you know what you must do? That is to enhance what you already have.
Physically speaking, wearing appropriate makeup will not make you look like a “Hooker”, a “Flirt”, a “Prostitute” or a “Whore” neither. Makeup, if use appropriately and adequately can make you look and feel beautiful. It can give you confidence. It’s a women’s defense, so use it.
The next thing to do is to clean your inside. Set aside all negative thoughts. Start thinking about happy thoughts. As for me, I always write on my mini notebook “Things that made me happy” because they will always remind me that life is indeed beautiful no matter how unfair it is.
Do good things and be good. Be considerate and patience. Don’t let anger ruin your beauty. Do not plant seed of grudge inside you because if this will grow… you will be a person oozing with negative aura and people will avoid you.
Start by being good and true to yourself. Love yourself. Make yourself beautiful not only on the outside but also in the inside.
Always remember that YOU ARE A TREASURE and the person who will find you will treat you as one. You are not alone… you have your friends and family with you so stop feeling neglected and abandoned. Let yourself be exposed to change and do not be afraid about the future. Focus on what’s IMPORTANT and stop wasting your time on people who can’t even give you a tiny space in their life. Do not force them to like or love you. If they don’t want you, then don’t. The earth is a big place. Do not push yourself in a tiny space. Your time is PRECIOUS. You are beautiful if you see yourself as one.
Just BE YOURSELF and step out from your shadow.
Have a great day!
Sincerely,
Erica/Erix
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