Blog // First of 2013 // 2014 New Year

(Photo by: My soon to be Cousin "Orlie")

Today’s the last day of 2013! I’m very thankful for this year. I am one of the luckiest persons of the year. If I have the opportunity to stop the time… I will stop it in this year but… TIME FLOWS. Nobody can stop it. All of us MUST move on and go on with our life.
 So, I am going to list my FIRSTS of 2013.

1. First Job Interview
2. First Job
3. First Salary 
4. First Student (Annie/ Lee Ji Won) 
5. First Class in MBA 
6. First time to pass Civil Service Examination (without reviewing) 
7. First Colleague to talk to me (Cris) 
8. First time to get mad in public 
9. First time to ride the MRT train “Alone” 
10. First time to go at the bank “Alone” 
11. First time to get a “Visa”
12. First time to reject someone
13. First time to fall in love
14. First time to be rejected 
15. First time to get my heart broken 
16. First time to sing and play the guitar at the same time 
17. First time to be called as a “Great Poet” by a Japanese
18. First time to have coffee “Alone” for 5 hours straight
19. First time to make an inspirational video 
20. First time to say “No” to something which I don’t really like

ETC….

There’s still more and I can’t list them here. 2013 is the best year of my life… as of now. Although I experienced a lot of painful things… physically and emotionally… these things taught me how to be a strong woman. Some people consider me as an “Artist” and I think we artist are very emotional. We let our emotions control us because it is what makes us create our arts… our emotions inspires us.

Like me… my experiences are my inspirations in writing poems, simple songs, essays, drawing and painting… and it is nice to know that people who read my works could actually feel what I was feeling when I wrote them or made my arts. The poems like “She is… I’m not” ( http://mori-aki.blogspot.com/2013/12/she-is-im-not-one-sided-love-song-first.html ) was inspired by my instinct… and I was CORRECT. The simple song “One Sided Love” ( http://mori-aki.blogspot.com/2013/12/she-is-im-not-one-sided-love-song-first.html ) is based on my experience. The poem “Where should I stand?” (which I deleted) was written during the times when I was confused about my role in someone’s life… and just a few days ago… this poem was answered… 

the question is “Where should I stand?”…
the answer is… I stand nowhere in this person’s life. 

It hurts but this is the answer to my question.

The things I did this year helped me to grow up, to become independent and to be strong… somehow.

__________________________________

Two nights ago, I wasn’t able to sleep. 10:00 pm and then 1:00 am and then 3:17 am… until 6:00 am… I was WIDE AWAKE. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t close my eyes because it was terribly painful. There were so many things that were running on my mind and I couldn’t help but to think… think… and think…

Even if I said that I can handle this situation… I don’t know where to start, where to go and where will I get my strength… I just don’t know. No matter how good I am in acting (good actress… in college)… I don’t know if I can conceal everything…

_________________________________________________

Enough with my tragic story… I want to welcome 2014 with a smiling face, peaceful mind and full of HOPE!!!!!

Happy New Year everyone!!!!! I wish you all the best this year. Happiness, love, good health and peace of mind! Let’s all be happy! If you have problems… let’s talk about it and send me message at (straberryshortcakeo6@yahoo.com)!  Yes it is an “o” not “0”.... I’m gonna have party with my cousins! See yah!

With all my love, Erica/Erix

I am so sad. Why is it so painful?

I have a video here.... This is me while I was practicing the song "It must have been love" for the first time. I don't know the strumming pattern. haha! just for fun.

Blog // iTunes Shuffled Playlist // Weak Desire Brings Weak Result

(Photo by: Erica/Erix)

One of my rituals during the last few days of the year is to do a GENERAL Cleaning of my room. Meaning to say, I scrubbed the floor, changed my curtain, wiped away all the dust on my wall, re-arranged my books, cleaned my cabinets and bookshelves, threw away all the things I don't need anymore, changed my bed sheet and pillow cases. It took me one whole day because my cousins came at the house and we chatted. Nice timing! haha! At least they came. I think, OUR New Year will be HAPPY because we made a plan.

I am the type of a person who can't live without MUSIC. In everything that I do... there should be music. So, while I was cleaning my room I turned my iTunes to shuffle and let the songs play on their own. Here are some songs and lines from them.

You have stolen my heart

(“Stolen” by Dashboard Confessionals)

How can I decide what’s right? When you’re clouding up my mind.

What kind of man you are? If you’re a man at all.

I will figure this one out… on my own.

(“Decode” by Paramore)

It looks like you’ve given up. You’ve had enough.

(“I Don’t Believe You” by Pink)

How could you do it? I never saw it coming.

(“When It Rains” by Paramore)

I don’t want to mess this thing up; I don’t want to push too far.

We don’t need to rush. Let’s just take this slow.

(“Just A Kiss” by Lady Antabellum)

I’m just a human. I have a skeleton in me.

(“Monster” by Paramore)

Yes, I’d come for you but only if you want me to.

(“I’d Come For You” by Nickelback)

But it pulls me deeper now, I can’t escape.

(“Buried Beneath” by Red)

What hurts the most was being so close and having so much to say and watching you walk away.

(What Hurts The Most)

We both wake in lonely beds… different cities.

(“Sad Beautiful Tragic” by Taylor Swift)

I hate it, I hate it, I hate it when you’re not around, when you’re gone.

(“I Hate It” by Ellegarden)

I am with you, I will carry you through it all

I won’t leave you

I will catch you when you feel like letting go

Cause you’re not, you’re not alone.

(“Not Alone” by Red)

I just want to sit and stare at you.

(“Fall Into Pieces” by Avril Lavigne)

Coz darling, you are the only exception.

(“Only Exception” by Paramore)

I told myself don’t get attached, but in my mind I played it back.

(“Come Back Be Here” by Taylor Swift)

You will never know what you have done to me.

(“Tiny Heart” by Flyleaf)

I never want to see you unhappy.

(“Almost Lover” by A fine frenzy)

I am in awe and….. I am in love and given away.

(“Treasure” by Flyleaf)

_________________________________________

Weak desire brings weak result

By: Erica/Erix

Date written: December 23, 2013

Date edited: December 27, 2013

Inspiration: The girl in the mirror

If weak desire brings weak result

Then, if my desire to see him is stronger than the Earth’s crust

Will I ever see him again?

If weak desire brings weak result

Then, if my desire to see him happy is stronger than Egypt’s Pyramid

Will I ever see him happy?

If weak desire brings weak result

Then, if my desire to be near him is stronger than the strongest super hero

Will I ever be near him?

Desire, Desire, Desire

Let my hope be fired up

I feel the heat of each red fire

As I follow my desire.

 

It's exactly 9:15 pm and I can't sleep. Regardless... Have a good night everyone! How about you? What's your end of the year ritual?

Things that made me happy:

1. Cleaning my room. I love the smell of new bed sheet and pillow cases. I like my room very much.
2. Playing the guitar... randomly.
3. Talking to my cousins and aunt. I love laughing with them.
4. Taking a full body bath at night. Very relaxing.

What's Up: Last THURSDAY of 2013 // Randomness

Merry Christmas! Merry? I don't know... I was waiting for my cousins to arrive but they didn't come.. Yeah Yeah... I know. They spent their Christmas with their boyfriends and girlfriends and friends... I was so PATHETIC! I was awake until 11:30 pm of December 24, 2013, hoping that they will knock on the door... but they didn't. I was really sad... very sad. Nevertheless, I understood the situation, so what I did was play the guitar all night until my fingers got terribly swollen.

Maybe you'll ask "Where's your parents?", "Don't you have friends?" etc.

My parents? After they cooked a lot of foods they slept at exactly 8:00 pm. My grandmother, as well as her housekeeper, did the same thing. So, I was left all alone to celebrate my MERRY Christmas singing and playing "Keep Holding On" by Avril Lavigne and drinking... of course not alcohol! but some Sour Cherry Drink. And my friends live far away from my hometown. End of Story.

Thursday. I always remember someone every time it's Thursday. So hello to you Mr. Manager... if ever you're reading this... right now.

I went to Travel Agency for Hotel reservation and booking of plane ticket. Right. After a very LONG time... I finally have the chance to take a break from my everyday life cycle of work-study-work-study. 

It was around September when I received a message from my Aunt who wants to have a Trip somewhere. She told me to prepare everything I need. So I did. The hardship I experienced in order for me to have all the requirements... was beyond words. I worked hard (not to earn money, okay?) for almost 4 months to get my VISA on time. There was a time when I almost cried at the agency because they were asking for another papers. However, the staff apologized to me and admitted that it was their mistake. It was terribly FRUSTRATING and I couldn't even get mad so I just cried and cried and cried. Their system's not that organized. I exerted EFFORT and my parents were witnesses. They even helped and encouraged me. Thankfully, they grant me my VISA... a big YEHEY! for that. :)

 (Perfect weather? This is my definition of perfect weather. Cloudy. Not sunny.  A little windy. I don't like SUNNY weather.)

Today, I went somewhere and I ended up at a mall. I just walked and watched all the people who were busy with their shopping. I was not in the mood but I needed to get out because I could feel the stress building up inside my body again. The first thing I noticed was the yellow shopping bags... that's right! Forever21. A lot of people were carrying Forever21 and Uniqlo shopping/paper bags. It was really crazy!!!! Almost all of them were inside the shops while the other boutique were like ghost town... no people at all. I am not a fan of those two brands but I did have clothes from Forever21... and I really REGRET buying from there.

Lastly, before I went out I asked my grandmother's housekeeper if my clothes look good on me and she answered:

 "Erica, the clothes you're wearing don't matter. What matters the most is your CHARACTER as a person. Whatever clothes you wear will look good on you if you have a good mind."

 And... She's right.

That will be all for today. Does this entry makes any sense? I hope so. 

Lessons learned:

1. If you want something, do everything you can to achieve/get it. Giving all your efforts means a lot.
2. It's not about your clothes, the brands but it's all about your CHARACTER as a person.
3. Watching people once in a while can decrease stress.
4. Follow your heart.

Good night everyone! Merry Christmas!!!!!!

Things that made me happy:

1. NYX's sales staff named EMZ. She's very nice. She remembered me even if I was there only once. She said "Hello". What a nice person!
2. My best friend who accompanied me in watching Twilight Saga movie marathon.
3. Walking somewhere.
4. Watching people.
5. Him.

PS. I am sad because I lost my DSLR Lens cap. AND I don't know!!!!! but I am really worried about something. It's making me nervous. I am hoping for the BEST. I will pray HARDER.

Blog // A Decade of FRIENDSHIP

Hello! Today's December 23, 2013 and it's MONDAY! A very special day for me. 10th year anniversary. 10 years of FRIENDSHIP. It means a lot to me and to "her"; my best friend. She is the proof of what I had said before... "Once a person became my friend, I will cherish this person for the rest of my life. He/She will be my friend until the end of time." So see? I am not lying... but, we still have long way to go.

My best friend and I didn't attend the same College, we didn't enrolled to same Major, we've had had separate sets of friends BUT we'd never neglected each other. Simple actions like; sending messages, calling once in a while or visiting each other's houses helped us to stay connected.

Of course, we're not perfect and we sometimes argue BUT the last time we argued was when we were still in High School...

So today, I bought simple snacks for us to share in this special day. It was fun because it felt like we were transported to being a high school student. We used to sleep in each other houses, we cooked food, we love food shopping and even if it was already time to sleep at night we always ended up talking until morning... talking about anything.

Now that we are already an adult, I hope that we could stay the same... Loyal, Funny, Conservative with a touch of innocence and Purity.


Lastly, I became the dishwasher of the day. People always say that I don't know any household chores. They always accuse me of being a "senorita".... but in reality... I AM NOT. Of course I know how to wash dishes, to wash clothes, to clean the house, to do some gardening, to sew clothes, cook basic foods etc... I know how to do them. :)

And as I am typing this, my neighbor is singing an old Korean song... Amazing...  

Good Night Everyone!

Things that made me happy:
- Food Shopping. I like food shopping very much! <3
- Cooking and preparing the table.
- Talking to my Best friend
- Teasing my Best friend's dogs (pit bull); so scary.
- Eating. (Tomorrow is ZUMBA DAY)

What's Up: I Was Mad

(Photo by: Erica/Erix)

(From Deviantart Account)

I am not PERFECT. Although I usually don't fight because I HATE fighting back... this time.... I WILL FIGHT. For I know that I am right. I WILL NOT APOLOGIZE. We are BREAK EVEN. I only gave him the same courtesy he had given me. He didn't respect me as a person... so I didn't respect him. I endured his personality for the last months and he pushed me to my limits. I am usually very patient but yesterday I met my limit. I literally shouted... BUT I didn't regret anything.

My colleague said I looked like an ANGRY CAT when she saw me walking around Ortigas Center that afternoon. She didn't bother to ask me. She calmed me down somehow by softly patting my back and shoulder. I appreciate it. (Thanks Cris)

I was very lucky to saw her yesterday because if not, maybe a car already hit me. I haven't eaten anything since morning except for a very light breakfast... no Lunch and it was almost around 3:00 pm. Before that, I needed to go somewhere while carrying my 3 heavy bags. I had to wait for a Taxi just to arrive at my work place... but my efforts went in vain.

But.. I am not Mad anymore. I had a very good night sleep last night. I watched some funny video clips in Youtube. I feel good and happy now. My happiness is very shallow and I can easily eliminate anger. I don't want to waste my time. I have things to do. Planning for my pleasure trip and school stuffs...

Things that made me happy:
- My Mother.
- My REAL TRUE friends
- Listening to MUSIC
- Mocha (our dog)
- Playing guitar
- Chatting with College girl friends

PS: Does this entry make any sense?

Collection Of Words 13: Alone in Krispy Kreme

Alone In Krispy Kreme

By: Erica/Erix

Date: December 17, 2013

At Krispy Kreme they serve every customer

With a smile on their faces even if the customer's a stupid woman.

I'm just a customer

I'm just a native

I'm just a dreamer

I'm just a stupid woman

At a haven, he's being entertained

With brightly face girls; lights are dim

Even if, these girls are cheaters

... so it seems.

He's just a working man

He might know true love

He relies with his beer in can

And I am just a stupid woman.

In my room, I emailed him...

Only him... seriously...

Even though my messages are meaningless

And full of childishness.

I'm just a pathetic being

But I'm not confuse

I'm just emotional

And I am just a stupid woman

Under the night sky, some succeed with 

Their first love while others

Don't notice that "Love is everywhere"

In this ridiculous place called "Earth"

I just said "I miss you"

I just said "I'm here for you"

I just followed my heart

And I am just a stupid woman.

--------------------

Dear Sir,

This is my version of the poem you gave meas your present.
Let me apologize for not saying Goodbye on your last day.
Something happened. Regardless, I wish for your happiness.
Take care!

Sincerely,

T. Erica

Blog // Life is a Carnival; An Inspirational Video // Video Script

(Photo by: Ina Palisoc)

As I have mentioned before... once in a while, I PLAY AROUND. This picture was taken the week when we shot an inspirational video for a competition. Ms. Ina and I were so overwhelmed by the POSITIVE feed backs coming from people of different nationality... unfortunately, there were also people who gave us insulting and "below the belt" (means: terribly insulting) comments and the worst thing that happened was our video was blocked in youtube.

When we joined the competition, we already knew that there would be people who would "hate" us... Honestly speaking... our video is very artistic and I LIKE IT A LOT. I'm just being honest here. If the people can't accept it as an entry to that competition... it's OKAY because we can still use it for other purposes and one of them is for this blog

I wrote the script the day before the video shoot. While I was writing at that time, I was really emotional... reason why I could easily write what's in my mind.

Video Script:

Who am I? What am I? Is every thing's just a dream? Or maybe, my complex imagination created it...

What is Life? What is Beauty? What is Happiness? What is Love? These are the questions that I usually ask to myself and to other people. For the past 23 years of my life... I think, I'm starting to have an idea about the answers to my questions. And the answers? They are something that can't be put into words but can only be seen by the eyes, can only be heard by the ears, can only be felt by our heart and most of all, the answers are buried deep inside my soul.

I'm an ordinary blogger and yet... I'm not an ordinary person... for I believe that nobody is ordinary. We are all created in different ways, we have our own identity, we have our own personality, we don't look the same physically and these facts are what make us different from one another.

The life of an ordinary blogger. This is something personal that I want to share to everybody... because everyone would be able to relate.

The past:

I was always alone... an overly and unreasonably shy person. I was not very likable and back then, everyone hated me.

My experiences in life; the good things and the bad things served as my inspiration to write, to draw, to paint, to experiment and to show that I can be me whenever I wanted to be.

It all started when I became a victim of constant discrimination. When people pushed me on the edge, pulled me down and hurt me emotionally and physically... I couldn't do anything. I didn't know how to fight... for I don't fight! because I don't believe in violence and saying bad things to other people... and yet, half of me wanted to fight to show that I don't deserve those kind of maltreatment... I was weak, very weak.

While every girl of my age is busy talking about boys, relationship, fashion... I was busy and happy reading books. A girl with nobody to talk to, no friends, alone... reading "Romeo and Juliet", writing poems and essays, daydreaming, humming... that was my life and still my life.

The writings I wrote during those times are can be read on my present blog and people who read them tells me that I am strong even if I am weak.

When people tried to tarnish my reputation... to dishonor me... I WRITE. When people back stabbed me... I WRITE. Whenever I feel depressed... I WRITE. Whenever I feel that life gets harder and harder... I WRITE. Bad things, Painful things, Failures, Frustrations, Depressions and Sadness are my bullets for my self-defense call "Writing".

I write because I want other people to be inspired. I write for free and I don;t expect praises or compliments... what I really want is... what my purpose is to let them know that no matter how hard life can be, we are the only one who can judge ourselves. We are the writer of our own life story. the comment of other people don't really matter... what matters is you... only you.

Today is Sunday. I had an another hectic week. Nevertheless, I had a great time with all the people surrounded me and the new people I met and new friends. I'm still overwhelmed with all the things I received. Material gifts, letters, poems, friendship and love. These things made me feel like indeed "Life is a carnival".

Have a great day everyone!

Things that made me happy:
- Eating out with colleagues
- Gifts, letters and poems
- Him
- Positive feed backs from other people
- People who respected and appreciated me
- My parents

She is... I'm not // One sided love (A song; first draft)

(Photo by: Ina Palisoc)

"She is... I'm not"

by: Erica/Erix

Inspiration: An Interview with the girl in the mirror

Date: December 6, 2013

She is the girl who has his attention... I'm not.

She is the girl who can touch his arms... I'm not.

She is the girl who holds his hand... I'm not.

She is the girl who sees him every second... I'm not.

She is the girl who is nearer... I'm not.

She is the girl who is a beauty... I'm not.

She is the girl who possesses intelligence... I'm not.

She is the girl who can make him laugh... I'm not.

She is the girl who is with him... I'm not.

She is the girl who can have and might have his heart... I'm not.

She is the girl who is everything... I'm not.

(Photo by: Erica/Erix)

"One sided love"

by: Erica/Erix

First Draft

Chords used: Am-Em-D-Em

This one sided love

is tearing me apart

and I can't get up

tonight

This one sided love

is hard to explain

but my heart can't deny

that I fall for you, not a shame

This one sided love

is breaking my heart

because I know that you

can never love me back

This one sided love

is making me insane

my life will not be the same....

________________________________________________

I had a very tiring week. I wrote a script for a video shoot, edited it, practiced my voice over part on the video, shoot the video for almost 10 hours, studied, worked... what more could I ask for?

I never thought that creating and recording a 5-7 minutes video would be a very long process. We (Ina and I) squeezed our brains for idea. I'm so thankful because there were a lot of people who helped me especially my one man army Ms. Ina and my friends who gave me self confidence... not for them... I would not really join this competition... 

Honestly speaking, I don't care much about the prize. Whoever wins, I will support them. I joined because of the people who believes in my capabilities and talent... they'd told me that this competition would be great chance and experience for me to expose myself and to increase my self-esteem.

I am an EXTREMELY shy person... and being on the video... on my OWN video... I never really imagined it. As for the voice over part, I needed to do it many times because I couldn't stop myself from crying. The script that I wrote is all about my personal experiences and sharing it on public brought back my memories when I was discriminated over and over again... 

Anyway, I hope the edited video will be presentable... Maybe next week... I will share it in here. Have a Happy Sunday everyone!

Things that made me happy:

- My one arm army... Ms. Ina

- Playing guitar and singing "Keep holding on" and "My guardian angel"

- My friends including Him

- That I am still alive

What's Up: Life Must Go On

I've been experiencing a lot of painful things since September. Nevertheless, I believe that everything happens for a reason. I may not know the reason now but time will show me.

I had two surgeries. It was frustrating and I silently cried every night. People may say that they're not serious and it will heal...but I was the one who experienced the surgeries not them. They don't know how difficult it is (I'm using"is") for me to move, to take a bath, to eat, to travel everyday to work and school. They don't know the pain... physically and emotionally.

 (After the doctor changed my bandage on my neck)

(After I removed the bandage... I had a black eye)

Despite of what I'd been through I never neglected my duties. It was VERY difficult because my body is not strong.

Anyway, I tried my best to forget the pain. I could say that my work helped me to be happy and of course the messages I received from my friends who were very worried about my condition. I really appreciate their concern.

ROAD TO SOMEWHERE:

NYX 

I bought some cosmetics to hide the scar on my neck. My scar looks very ugly because it's still new. Everytime I look at it I feel depressed. After it heals I will definitely conceal it. Anyway, I met the friendliest sales assistant! Her name is Anna. She helped me in choosing the correct shade for my skin tone. Other SA's from other cosmetic shops are not so accommodating.
 
Ateneo De Manila University, Gateway Mall, Farmer's Wet Market

I went out with my vietnamese student (Vicky). We had a speaking and pronunciation class outside the Academy. She requested for it. I accompanied her to one of the prestigious universities in the Philippines which is Ateneo De Manila University (ADMU). I showed her the entire campus and we toured just outside. She was surprised to see how big the University is. After that, we went straight to Gateway and Farmer's where we did "Fruits Shopping". She loves Cherries as I love Strawberries. We had a great time together even if the cultural and language barrier were visible between us. Unfortunately, at the end of our tour she lost her camera. It was sad because almost all of the pictures from her travels was there...

SANRIO SHOP

My guitar tutor and I supposed to have a mini celebration because of my improvement in guitar lessons but I needed to go home right away. We decided to check some Hello Kity stuffs because my tutor loves this character. Of course the store is full of pink merchandise.


WHat's up?
I'm contnuing my guitar lessons. I think I improved because I can finally play the guitar and sing at the same time. The chords transition is getting better and more precise. I'm so happy! I even took a video and recorded myself but I will not upload it. On January, maybe I will make a decent version. :)

Aside from that, I received my almost perfect grades in MBA. They told me that it was supposed to be perfect but I had absences reason why they needed to gave me a grade lower than the highest grade. So sad. 

This second semester will be another hectic sem. My subjects are heavy!

1. Entrepreneurial Management
2. Financial Accounting
3. Financial Management

Wish me luck!

Things that made me happy
-Playing guitar
-Singing
-Listening to Music
-Strawberries! <3
-Messages from my friends

What's Up: Rest-less Week // Thank You Thursday

(Photo by: Erica/Erix)

I am not okay. I am not fine. I am sad. I am bothered. I am... I am... I am so LOST. I don't know where to go.

Okay ENOUGH! Today, I'm very grateful to Thursday for having pity on my condition. Thursday gave me a fine day. I was still in the state of devastation when I woke up this morning but I tried so hard to be okay because my schedule was full! I needed to accomplish a lot of things on my check list and Thank God! My exhaustion was justified.

I had an appointment at the Barangay Hall, City Hall and Bank. I was so tired from going back and forth from here to there to everywhere! Walking, Running, Riding to different means of transportation and the worst thing is... I got tanned! BIG TIME!

Randomness:

Last wednesday I discussed Subjunctive (English Grammar) to my VIP Student and when I asked him to give me a sample sentence this is what he said.

"I suggest you to spend more time in looking for a boyfriend." He said. "Okay... can you give me another one?" I asked, frowning to him. "But.. my suggestion is realistic. You're always reading, studying and writing. At what age do you want to get married?" The next thing I knew... he was already giving me Love/Marriage advice. 

My other student brought his Christian Bible in my class. He was the first student to asked me to discuss my favorite passages in the Bible. I was very surprised. At the end of our lesson, he told me that "You and Teacher Dino are gifts to me from God." and then he shook my hand. His comment made me happy.

Somehow, I think I am starting to realize my purpose in life. Supporting other people and making sure to listen to them. Not just their written and spoken words but I must also listen to the words in their heart or the unspoken words that cannot be express.

Like this... an email from my former VIP student.

I apologized to this student because during his time I always feel very sleepy because this was last September. The HECTIC month. He told me in one of his emails that he will try his best to express his love towards his wife... more oftenly because he learned this from me and from our culture. It's a good thing! High five to you Mr. Jeff! (FYI: I asked his permission to post this email. ;)

Another is this.

Everytime I receive comment like "You're so cute!", "You're beautiful!", "You're very pretty.", "It's very easy for you to find a boyfriend."... I couldn't help but to be skeptic. I am not accustomed with these comments because I am more used to getting these "So you think you'll be pretty if you wear that?", "That's very unfashionable!", "Eating that will not make you beautiful.", "No matter what you do, you're still ugly." Insulting? Terrible? But I received them... really.

I am happy that other people consider me as an INSPIRATION. For them I have a value. I can be a friend anytime and lend my helping hand and my shoulders to someone who is in need.

On the other hand, my close friends are giving me advice not to give TOO MUCH and that I should save something for myself. Being too Self-less has its own disadvantage. What can I do? I like helping because it makes me happy and it gives a certain warm in my heart.

Changing the subject. I went to a bakeshop to buy some goods when the sales staff offered me their Cheese Tarts... what a mouth watering pastry?! High in Calories! Sugar content? Very high! But it was DELCIOUS!

Look what I found! AIRHEADS! I've been looking for this candy. The last time I ate this was when I was still an elementary student; 11 years old at that time. Happy! 

My Monday was HAPPY. Tuesday was full of sadness. Wednesday was bluer than blue (that was a song... okay.), Thursday was busy... Friday, what will you give me? 

I'm so TIRED! Did this entry make any sense? Anyway, Good night. I'm going to jump on my bed now. I hope everybody is not SAD like me. I'm wishing you all the happiness! And I want to greet my Three Musketeers. Hello to the three of you (Chocolate, Coke and Beer)... :) How's the exam? I hope you all did your very best.

Things that made me happy:

: The Beatles' "If I fell"

: Accomplishing all my task!

: Papaya

: Cheese Tarts

: Practicing guitar chords transition

: That I am still alive... at least

PS: This is my first Throwback Thursday post in my blog. My mini version (1993). I was 3 years old. What do I look like? haha!

I am still SAD.