Being alone most of the time makes me think about a lot of things. Lately, I've been thinking about the humanity; the people around me.
Introverts are observant people and we sometimes think about every single detail on what is in front of us.
Nowadays, I always hear people saying "I want to give up. I can't trust the humanity anymore." Since the year started, a number of people uttered this and it made me realized that I am also on the verge of giving up.
Clutching my bag on the street, not looking people directly in their eyes, constantly looking around and walking very fast... This has been my routine every time I go out. Why? Because I've experienced a lot of bad things on the street. Anywhere I go, there will always be someone who will try to do bad things to me. Honestly, it is very hard for me to entertain strangers on the street no matter what the situation is. However, for some reason I always attract strangers. I'm like a big magnet for them and I feel like I have a big sign on my forehead that says "TALK TO ME".
People who are lost, asking for direction, randomly sharing their thoughts about the other people, comments about the food they are eating... etc. when I am outside, there will ALWAYS be a stranger who will talk to me. It's like an unavoidable event in my everyday life outside my house.
Because of the DOUBT caused by high crime rates... I became TOO skeptical.
Last Friday, I went to visit my friends. It was an EPIC FAILURE day for me and I guess for them too. A lot of bad things happened that I don't want to share here because I would sound like a complaining drama queen.
It was my first time to be in a shopping mall near my working place. From there, I looked for a taxi because I needed to go to my mother's office to get my medicine. The line was so long and it almost took me an hour before I could ride.
While waiting, there was a couple beside me. They were talking the whole time. Because I was blessed with a very clear sense of hearing, I heard everything they've said.
They were actually in a hurry to go to their destination because they needed to be there at exactly 3:00 pm. It was already 2:30 pm that time and my eyes were burning, watery and very itchy and I terribly needed my medicine and eye drops.
The couple asked me about my destination. They look embarrassed and I already had a feeling that they will ask me if they can ride the taxi before me. They told me that they're in a hurry and they must arrive on time at DFA which is located around 25 minutes from the mall.
Believe me, my eyes were hurting so much and it's very uncomfortable. I wanted to bang my head on the wall because my doctor told that scratching is a big NO.
Despite of being uncomfortable, I let the couple ride the taxi because they are aiming to work abroad and I can understand their desire to work outside the Philippines.
Maybe some of you may consider me as STUPID, but you know... sometimes helping other people makes me feel alive, needed and that I HAVE A WORTH THIS WORLD.
Giving up on humanity is not the answer, I realized that if you want to change something in this world... you have to start within yourself. If you will always complain about the things done by others, nothing will really change. You are just adding up to the the reason why others want to give up.
I am not saying that I am the perfect human being who will always help others. My point is, if you want to be treated nicely... be nice to others first.
And you know what? Before the couple ride the taxi, they were very grateful and thankful and the woman almost cried. The couple touched my hands and said "May God Bless you always Miss." and I could see and felt that they were really sincere.
While I was inside the taxi, I suddenly felt very overwhelmed and I really felt that God blessed me. They're words and sincerity is enough for me. I felt like I won a fortune! I have forgotten about my eyes and I was very thankful too.
My Aunt Tess taught me to be nice to everyone, even if they are not towards me. I started from greeting security guards, shop assistants, saying "THANK YOU" all the time to anybody who helped me no matter how little it was. By doing these simple things, I started to feel good about the world around me, about myself and about others.
After my very dark 2014... I'm starting to see the light around me again, even if it's just a tiny bright light coming from the aperture of my prison cell...
I hope I'll have more opportunity to help others.... to help you. Because helping others helps me.
Have a good night everyone!
Sincerely,
Erica/Erix
Things that I am grateful for:
- Playing Spanish song on my guitar. Requested by my Mama bear.
- Cleaning my room which is my weekly routine.
- Reading books.
- Chatting with my friends.
- Writing this blog.
- That my Parents are in good health.
- That my friends are in good health.
- That I am starting to feel better again. Please wish me luck... I terribly need it.
- Listening to Classical Music.
- Playing with our puppies.
