(Draft For My Collection Of Words)
It’s been almost three years since I started this blog.
Since then, I have continued to write here whatever goes on my mind. Random
things that interest me, things that I’m doing, my thoughts, my emotions, my
ideas, my opinions, recipe etc.… anything goes.
People asked me questions like:
“Do you write to become famous? Do you want people to know you?”
“Why do you write?”
“What are you thinking whenever you write?”
“Writing is such a waste of time, why do you do it?”
“Do you think you’ll be rich if you write?”
I always get these questions from people who are supposed
to support me in writing.. Unfortunately, they can’t understand why I like to
write.
“Do you write to become famous? Do you want people to know you?”
Of course not. I never dreamed of becoming famous. As much
as possible, I want to stay anonymous. But the things on my blog, I share them to selected people… people in my PRIVATE Facebook account and Instagram. I like
it when strangers read my blog. Because they don’t really care much who I
really am, they give me HONEST and unbiased opinion… and they don’t insult
me.
I like writing because:
Emotional Therapy
I’ve been in many bad situations. I met cruel and insulting
people. I’ve been backstabbed by people whom I thought were my friends. I was
treated like a piece of SH*T. People disappointed me again and again… and these
things that happened to me caused me a lot of emotional issues.
I am not like other people who can fight ASAP. I didn’t have
the guts and the confidence to express what I felt during those situations and I still don't.
Most of the time, I keep everything to myself. Talking to others about them
would be in vain, because some of them will not let me finish with my story
first, they will insert theirs and the next thing I knew we would be talking
about his/her situation, not mine. So instead of releasing what’s inside me, I
always ended up carrying a heavier burden on my shoulders compared before. The
results are stress and depression, which are two of the main reasons why I
write.
In writing, I have the freedom to express what I want to
express and to say what I want to say which I am not capable of saying in
person. There are a lot of hindrances in communicating verbally with other
people and the best way for me to speak my mind is through writing.
Every time I write, I feel that my mind and my hands are in
some kind of an agreement because they work in unity.
Writing helped me and still helping me to ease the sadness,
stress, depression, frustration, tension, confusion. I just write everything on
a piece of paper. Sometimes in rhyming words (Collection of words), sometimes
through a dramatic short story, etc.…
Writing is an Emotional Therapy for me. In writing, I can
find peace of mind, even if only for a short time.
Communication Channel With Strangers
It is never my intention to have readers. I started sharing
my blog just last year to selected friends whom I know will understand me and
will never insult me. I don’t even put on tags on my posts.
However, some strangers or people from other countries will
sometimes stumble on my blog. I don’t know if they read my posts in detail, but
there were some who sometimes send me emails, extending their appreciation on a
certain post.
It’s nice to know that there are people who can relate to my
boring life.
A Way Of Creating My Own Tiny Little World
I am a City Woman. I was born in a City and sometimes I feel
tired being here. Too much pollution, noise, crowded places, partying here and
there, the constant back-biting of people… it’s tiring to be in this kind of
environment. Whenever I feel tired being here, I just write and re-read my blog
posts. Why? Because I can release everything through writing. I can express my
appreciation about everyday life tiny miracles like sunshine, sunrise, sunset,
birds, flowers, nature, etc.… without being judged as a soft hearted weird
human being. Whenever I say my thoughts about them, my listeners will call
me a CHEESY, CORNY and DRAMATIC person. Is it really? I just like expressing
my appreciation with everything around me, because these things are some of the
reasons why I am not giving up the society I am currently in to.
Helped/Helps Me To Be Open Minded
Even before I started writing, I was a bookworm first and I
still am. My friends say that “I devour books like a glutton devour their food”
(From “The Innocent Traitor” by Alison Weir”). Reading a lot helped me widen my vocabulary, review my grammar and learn
things which I didn’t know before. Reading and writing enlightened me about
Life, Love, Beauty and Death. They helped me understand myself more and they
are helping me to understand other people now. Writing enlightened me and I
want to be enlightened, more in the future.
Best Remedy For Heartache
I’ve seen a lot of broken hearted women who write in their journal
to ease their heartache. I’m doing this “Writing on my Diary” thing ever since.
Heartache about love or about anything that is causing your heart to feel
pain. Sometimes, we lose important people in our lives, sometimes people leave
us without saying goodbye, sometimes they hurt us without the intention to… and these causes us heartache. The best way to somehow ease the
pain is to “Write” it down on a piece of paper.
So those are my 5 basic reasons why I write. Do we have the
same reason?… Or maybe you’re too lazy to write? But believe me or not, Writing
helped me to become a BETTER person. Try it sometimes and you’ll see what I am
talking about.
I write not to impress, but to express and if other people can’t
understand this… I can’t do anything but to accept their opinion, even if
sometimes it hurts me to be criticized in a destructive way.
Have a good day everyone!
Sincerely,
Erica/Erix
Things that made me happy:
- Writing this blog post. I hope that the people who will read this will somehow relate with my 5 Basic Reasons Why I Write.
- My book package arrived yesterday. One of my weird hobbies is collecting old books. I'm so happy because I was able to get a 1961 copy of Leo Tolstoy Resurrection. Yes! :)
- Exercising and drinking my Lemon Water Detox.
- Reading "The Republic Of Plato" while eating my breakfast. I enjoyed my toast because of my strawberry jam. I love strawberry! <3
- Playing guitar and singing along. I don't care if I am not good... I just wanted to release some stress because lately... I am not happy.
- That I am still ALIVE. :)
