Blog // 4 Steps To Be Happy

It's been a long time. For the past weeks I became terribly busy with my work, preparation for something new in the future, focusing to myself and letting go of people who absorbed my energy.
I learned a great deal of lessons from my past mistakes. I was almost pulled into a complicated situation where people will try to destroy and torture me slowly. I am very FORTUNATE to meet people who helped get away and taught me the way out. Thank you very much from the bottom of my heart.

Why should I continue to linger with people who are causing me so much stress, pressuring me to do things that I don't want to do, asking me to do things that I am not capable of and discouraging me to take actions for my plans? They're not WORTH IT. Those people will only cause my DOWNFALL. I know, they will DEFINITELY silently laugh their ass off when this thing happen. Luckily, I was able to cut the connections from them and here I am... floating, have a peaceful mind and living healthily with manageable stress.

Making myself happy is one thing that I can actually do for myself. This is not selfishness or VANITY. I can call this self nourishment. I only have few TRUE and CLOSE friends and I cannot expect them to make me happy all the time. This is my responsibility to myself as a human being. My student once said... "Think positive even in a negative situation." This is TRUE. Past is past, and although this past is still connected to the "NOW" and "FUTURE"... the most important time is "NOW" because this will greatly affect my FUTURE.

1. Choosing the right people.

I was very inspired by Marc and Angels Hack life (Thank you very much Cherry blossoms). They have lots of inspirational quotes and blog entries. They helped me in the process of making myself happy and thinking POSITIVELY all the time. Their words of encouragements were like foods for the soul that causes the reader to be free from all the bad things and bad thougths. They were the one who taught me to choose the right people. People who inspires me, encourages me, true to me, love me for WHO I am. People who are not nosy, who loves to talk about the good things, who love LIFE and love LOVE.

2. One step at time.

I have goals that I want to achieve. I have plans that I want to accomplish. But I can only achieve and accomplish them if I take some actions. I need to make plans and decisions in the future. I am going to work SLOWLY but SURELY. There's no need to hurry.

3. Do good things to other people.

Once in a while. I do good things to strangers. I give candies to taxi drivers, give biscuits to street children, smile to traffic enforcers who are tired and sweaty under the heat of the sun, give band aids to girls who are wearing 3-4 inches high heels inside the elevator, giving warm greeting to the people in the street... so on... I am not boasting about my good deeds, I am only trying to say that doing those things made me feel wonderful, somehow I made a difference in their life.

4. Talk about GOOD things.

Recently, I noticed that everytme I talk about good things... I only hear good things too. It is actually better than to be infested with bad things like rumors and stuffs about other people. 

Sometimes, I don't need money to make myself happy. Words and actions are enough for me. My student once said "Simple is better." I learned that Simplicity can be one of the catalysts to a happy life.

GOOD DAY!

Things that made me happy:
>Passing the entrance for the graduate school. I will definitely get my degree of MASTER IN BUSINESS ADMINISTRATION. I can do it!
>Healthy foods.
>Vanilla smell.
>Cloudy day.
>Execising

PS:
I've been dreaming of this person for 2 nights in a row now.

Blog // My Mother

HAPPY MOTHER's DAY!!!!!!! I decided to make a post about my mother as my way of saying THANK YOU for everything.

Words are not enough to express how THANKFUL I am to be her daughter. I am so grateful to have her as my mother. I will never forget all the things she did for me since the day I was born.

She is decent and pure; my father was actually her first ever "REAL" boyfriend. Maybe, she is the reason why I am still single right now... I want to follow her foot steps "First and Last."

My mother? She doesn't like skinship and cheesy things. She never called me "Anak' or any kind of endearment and even if I envy my cousins and my friends because their mother call them in different cute names I know that my mother has her own style.

Even if I am an only child (basically), I don't get sad when I am with her. I feel secured and protected. I always feel like nobody could hurt me as long as I have her beside me.

She supported me in everything. When I was down and depressed, she was there to guide me. When everybody hated and bullied me, she was there to make me strong. When other people told me that I am UGLY, she was there to tell me that she never had an UGLY DAUGHTER. When my old friends left me, she was there to be my friend.

We are always together. We eat breakfast and dinner together. We take a bath together (sometimes). Sometimes when I feel very sad, we sleep together.

She always cooks me delicious food. She buys me cute things and pretty clothes. She takes care of me everyday and especially whenever I am sick.

SHE IS THE BEST. She is my first teacher. She used to scold me everytime I make mistake in my homework; she is a strict MATH TEACHER and I terribly hated reviewing MATH with her. Just kidding. Nevertheless, she is the reason why I am here right now. Not for her? I will never ever like studying. Because of her constant nagging about "STUDY FIRST" I came to be a grade concious student and I hated  low scores... I thank her for this because I was inspired to study hard.

FASHION ADVISER.

BESTFRIEND. My bestfriend next to Frances Marie. We have lots of things in common and we can most of the time read in what's in each others head.

TO MY MOTHER,

Happy Mother's day. I know you hate cheesy-ness but I still decided to make a post about you. Time is gold and I want you to know how thankful and greatful I am to have you as my mother. Even if there are times when we cannot agree on certain things, I understand your behaviour because you are my mother. I'm sorry for being stubborn about my health... I know you are always worried because I am always sick. I'm sorry if I wasn't able to achieve my number goal in life but I am doing everything I can to be happy.... at least. I'm sorry for shouting and screaming whenever I feel irritated and annoyed. Please support me always and I really really appreciate all the things you did for me. I promise to be good and do good and kind things to other people.

Thanks Mama! :)

For you friends...

Let's love our Mother and always remember... NOBODY CAN EVER REPLACE OUR MOTHER.

This song is dedicated to my mother: Thank You Mom by Good Charlotte.

(2009 SM Mall of Asia)

Things that made me happy:
>My forever friend Tiny-Oh
>Hanging out with parents (China town)
>New clothes... one is chinese style... hahaha!
>Pictures with elementary friends.
>Flyleaf songs
>Chatting with art enthusiast

What's Up: Appreciated

Sunday! Thank you God for giving me all the things that I need. Thank you for alwyas listening to me.

Sometimes, when I don't have somebody to talk to I always pray and talk to Him. Talking to Him is like talking to a friend; a friend who will LISTEN without interrupting you in what you are saying. It's nice because even if I can't see Him I always feel his presence.

Lately, I've been getting a lot of positive feedbacks with regards to my arts. I feel appreciated, great and wanted... No word can express how grateful I am to the people who are pushing me to make more art. They are my inspiration.

And... when somebody told me that he respected my talent... my heart melted and I immediately thanked God. I am very lucky to have my hands and wild broad imagination.

Today, I received a message from my former student. He thanked me for teaching him and that our conversations about Life, Love and Morality made us a better person. This made me happy because I can make a difference to somebody's older than me who already had lots of experience in life.

The intellectual week is over and I am starting to like meeting new people now. I used to be terrified and scared of introductions because of the doubt inside my head but the time somehow erased it. No more doubt! All I have to do is to believe in myself and that everybody is different. God never made two people exactly alike.

This is my friend's request. Although the quality is so-so she's still willing to accept my work. Thank you.

Mr. Undertaker in poster paint. I made this one while waiting for someone but he ditch me so I was kind of sad and depressed since I was expecting him. It's okay now.

This week... I hope for happiness and contentment. Let's do our best! Be happy and spread the love everyone!

Things that made me happy:
>Message from former student.
>Chatting with friends and cousins.
>New album of Bruno Mars.
>Finished my lesson on time.
>Chocolate muffin
>New day.
>That I am still alive.

Last night, a lot of my friends liked my dinner. Lettuce, apple, carrots, tomato and spam salad. Here it is! It looks light but is actually heavy because of spam.

What's Up: Planning to go back to school

After eating my chicken sandwich (My dinner) my cousin gave me this fluffy pastry. :) from Tous Les Jours. My korean friends recommended this bakeshop before but I didn't have time to actually try their pastries and other bread... LUCKILY my heaven sent cousin came and gave me the opportunity to try this...

Today. I HAD A GREAT DAY! I accepted a challenge and I was able to WON. The nervousness I felt, the thousand prayers I uttered last night (He listened to me), knee limping feeling, butterflies in my stomach... they were all WORTH IT. Thank God because he guided me throughout the day.

Talking to the people is one of the things that I am bad at. Nowadays, I am starting to like it. I finally learned that there's nothing wrong with conversing and sharing ideas and opinions. Exchanging mine with others and knowing that they are learning from my words is very FULFILLING. I maybe not the smartest girl out there but since I am a bookworm I accumulated a lot of knowledge.

Discussing complicated topics is another thing. I am very thankful to my Professors in University because I learned a lot from them. I really appreciate their effort to make us absorb all the lessons back then.

This coming June I am going to be a student AGAIN. I will be inside the old school that I've been to for almost 5 years of my University Life. It will be strange not to see my friends there anymore but I have to do this on my own. I need to be independent once and for all.

I need courage and self confidence. A LOT OF THEM.

Things that made me happy:
> Intellectual conversation with a Japanese English Teacher.
> Another intellectual conversation with a Japanese Lawyer.
> Heart to heart talk with a Chemist.
> Chatting with friends.
> Lauging with friends.
> Fun converation with family and relatives.

Blog // I am PINK

I AM PINK. My aura that is. When I woke up this morning a smile was already painted on my lips. I felt so good, happy, contented. I like it whenever I feel like that. My view was all pink, clear, transparent and even if the summer is making me feel horrible than ever before it is as if something good and special really happened... or maybe will happen.

I am thankful to God for another happy day. I am alive. Breathing. With two hands. With two feet. Healthy. There are too many to mention but I am THANKFUL and GREATFUL from the bottom of my heart.

I feel like dancing and singing the whole day. The usual rock music that can be heard in my room was replaced by Taylor Swift, Gabrielle Aplin, Caroline Lufkin, Jason Chen and Paul Kim. 

I guess sometimes... It is enough to be thankful for everything that's already within our grasp and not worrying about what we don't have.

I had a GOOD DAY. How about you? I hope you too. Let's all be happy and spread the love!

I will go back to work tomorrow. I will make my MONDAY a good day.

Good Luck!

Things that made me happy:
>Life and I am embracing it!
>Taylor Swift's lyrics... I can realate. SHE IS GOOD!
>Singing alone inside my room.
>That I am still ALIVE
>Food Shopping with my mother.

Photo by: Your's truly Erica/Aki

Blog // Please Look After Mother (My thoughts)

This is not a book review.  This has something to do with the realizations I had when I read the novel.

This is only my OPINION though.

Please Look after Mother is one of the best eye opening novel. It talks about everything… from compassion, life, death, love, regret, past, present, future. 

The author wanted her readers to fully understand what she wanted to emphasize. According to her… it’s COMPASSION. She used “Mother” as the specific medium to actually express her thoughts and opinions.

“How far back does one’s memory of someone go?” ... memories will remain inside the heart even if they fade in our mind.

“There are moments one revisits after something happens, especially after something bad happens. Moments in which one thinks, I shouldn’t have done that.” This passage talks about regret. In the novel… most of the characters revisited their memories with “Mother” and all of them had regrets that they wanted to change if they were given the chance.

“If there were no sea between you and me there wouldn’t be this painful goodbye…” Goodbye is a beautiful pain. It ends something but it also a sign of a new beginning. 

“Most of the things in the world are not unexpected if one thinks carefully about them. Even something one would call unusual – if one thinks about it, it’s really just a thing that was supposed to happen.”

“How could you only do what you like? There are things you have to do whether you like it or not.” Have you ever thought if your “Mother” actually likes cooking, doing the laundry, cleaning the house, etc? Do you think that they like what they do? Do they do these chores because they want to or because it’s their obligation to us; their children, husband, mother in law, sister in law, brother in law, niece, nephew? They do these things because they NEED them to do it. Sometimes it is not the matter of LIKING what you are doing… it is a matter of OBLIGATION. 

“How can you live without trusting people there are more people who are good than people who are bad?”

“Now I feel like I could say anything and everything but there’s nobody to listen to me.” Regret. The “Father” regretted that he didn’t treat his wife; the “Mother” kindly. He wasn't able to show her kindness.  He had all the time in the world to talk to her and treat his wife passionately and kindly but he wasn't able to.  He let her suffer alone because he didn’t want to listen to her words. He didn’t know that she was in pain and that she needed someone to lean on. That is the duty of a husband towards his wife but he wasn’t able to fulfill his duties to her.

“My mother raised me until now, and all that’s happened is a role reversal – it’s only fair.” When we were still young, our mother sacrifices lots of things… from her sleep to her freedom. I think it’s only fair to take care of our parents when the time comes when they need us. This is PAYBACK time. Although we are not oblige to do this but think of how much they gave us… because of them… we are here right now. 

The “Mother” in the novel had a huge impact on me and I can actually say that I finally realized how hard it is being a “Wife” and “Mother”. I didn’t know that it is the toughest job on earth. The Mother in Shin’s novel experienced a lot of things and she is the very symbol of “Sacrifice”. She did everything she can to raise her children, to support her husband, to follow her sister in law and to give everything they needed amidst the unkind way they treated her…even if that means throwing away her own dreams. Her children’s dream became her dreams. She unconsciously shared their dreams and forced herself to believe that it was her dream too. She suffered a lot in the novel and while reading it, I felt her pain, her sadness, the remorse, her wish to “Please look after me…”. She was silently pleading.

And then when she went missing…  That was the start of the “Revisiting” process wherein everybody reminisced the past they had of her. They came to a realization that the “Mother” they knew was not just a “Mother” but as well as a woman who had needs and wanted to be taken care of. 

Although they live in a world where everything is possible… they felt the hopelessness when “Mother” went missing. They have the money, luxury, fame but these things became part of nothingness when they can’t do anything to find “Mother”. 

Although the novel starts with “It’s been one week since Mother went missing”… I saw the process of her disappearance in the novel.  

There are things in this world that are important to us and we unconsciously take them for granted. When they’re gone, that’s the only time we realize how important they are. Then, come regret and sorrow. No matter how busy our life is… try to stop for a little while and savor what we have instead of worrying what we don’t have. 

Advice:

1. Say what’s in your mind before it’s too late. Time is gold. You’ll never know how long the important people in your life can stay beside you.

2. Appreciate things around you. Savor them and focus with “NOW”

Past, Present and Future are mixture. What happened in the past is what you are now and what you are now will affect your future. Do the things that you want to do. Don’t wait for the time where you will say “I should have done that.” 

3. Respect your PARENTS. Bear in your mind their sacrifices.

4. Be open-minded. You are not the only person who has emotions. People around you are human too. Do not think that you are the only one who’s capable of feeling the pain and sorrow.

 Have a good day friends.

Things that made me happy:

> New Manga series that I am reading right now. Super hilarious.

> Finally I'm in page 250... "Don Quixote" book.

> Thank God! My Grandmother is not having some kind of mood imbalance. 

> Cold Water. Lately... the weather here in the Philippines is becoming more and more HORRIBLE.

> A new day

> That I am still ALIVE

Collection Of Words 15: I want to be crazy (2009)

I wrote this when I was 19 years old.

I want to be CRAZY

A crazy person lives inside his world.

If that would be the real definition of a crazy person… then, I choose to be crazy rather than be normal at all. I want to be crazy.

I want to live inside my own world. I want my life to be just what I want it to be. I want to achieve my dreams not to achieve the dreams of other people. I want my path to be clear, clear like a flowing river, without any intersections. I want my eyes to see what I wanted to see, I want my ears to hear what I wanted to hear…I want to feel what I wanted to feel without other people influences trespassing my privacy.

Inside my world I want to find all of my dreams…I want to fly in the sky to reach my air castle. I will sing the songs engrave in my heart to fulfill my destiny. Destiny that I am alone makes it for my self. I will dance to the tune inside my head to give heed to the desires of myself.

I will believe in the things which everyone believed to be untrue. I will believe to the things that I cannot. I will open up my mind to everything until my whole memory consumes the great knowledge of my wide world.

I won’t listen to the voices outside for they were the voices of dream stealers. I won’t look at the temptations for they would ruin everything I built. I won’t embrace the words of those people who want to change my principles in life.

I want to be crazy… because crazy people do things that they are afraid to do.

I want to be crazy simply because I want to enjoy my own life.

 Things that made me happy:

> I am finally done reading "Please Look After Mom". 

> Continue reading "Don Quixote"

> Chocolate wafers

> Drawing from my nephew (My cousin's son). The little boy told me that he made the drawing after watching my  videos. I am an inspiration. I am so happy!

> My friend's trip to Africa. I am happy for her... because she needs to rest and unwind. I hope she will enjoy her vacation. :)